May

7

Senior Wisdom: Cliff Massey

Written by

Name, school: Cliff Massey, Columbia College

Claim to fame: President of CC 2010 (aka the guy with all the free shirts)

Where are you going?: I’ll be staying in New York after graduation. Not sure what I’ll be doing, but I’m sure it’ll be peachy.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Use the stairwells in the back of Lerner to get around. The ramps and elevators are generally not worth it.
2. John Jay food is good if you’re creative. They have a spice rack–put it to good use!
3, The walls are paper thin in every single building, which means living next to your best friend who’s dating someone is often awkward at night.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I have provided free beer at least once a month to over 2,000 seniors for an entire year. QED, bitches.

Any war stories from the War on Fun?: There was that whole “40s on 40” thing. But I really don’t wanna talk about it, for fear of having to attend another meeting with administrators.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?: I’m pretty sure cheese is the only one that will still taste good when I’m 65.

Any advice for the Class of 2014: The people are what make this school so amazing. Don’t spend all (or any) of your time in Butler. Get out there and get to know the incredible people in your class. They’ll change your life for the better!

Any regrets?: I really wish I’d been part of a dance team at some point. Anyone who’s seen me at any dance party knows I have no skills (awkward white boy dance syndrome). I just wish I’d joined something like Sabor that could teach me to dance all sexy-like.

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48 Comments

  1. question  

    was cliff a good class president?

  2. Nice answer  

    to the cheese question. Seems like a cool guy!

  3. Harmony Hunter  

    one of the three things i have
    not learned at columbia yet is the location of harmony

  4. Anonymous  

    i never knew cliff that well, but he always seemed like a great guy! he was a great class president-- very humble, approachable, and effective.

  5. sue

    Cliff is incredible! One of the hardest working individuals out there. He not only takes on a large roles in a number of organizations, but he also goes above and beyond in all of them. He has many more claims to fame than that, but his modesty masks them. Most impressively, he still carves out the time to hang out with his friends and help out even mere acquaintances. Great pick for a senior wisdom Bwog!

  6. Anonymous  

    i gotta give cliff credit for at least attempting to fight against the administration in the War on Fun. Also, he was in my lit hum and a good guy back then. he hangs out with cute girls too

  7. Cliff Massey is  

    the man. great senior wisdom. great guy. good luck, and good knowing you

  8. rocky  

    I love you Clifforddddd!!! You're awkward white boy dancing rox my sox ;]

  9. Anonymous  

    Cliff is great! I hope no nasty, embittered people here talk crap about him.

    • blah...

      ...at your selectivity with bwog-douchery.

      • Yknow  

        I think this proves that BWOG commenters aren't innate assholes. They just have a VERY low threshold for anything remotely perceived as douchebaggery (and Barnard in general; that was just unpleasant, y'all).

        I think Cliff is the FIRST person ever not to be coy/self-deprecating/pompous/back-patting about his future plans. Just optimistic and certain.

  10. irrelevent  

    FUCK YEAH! LITHUM IS OVAAAAAAAAAAA!

  11. cliff  

    is awesome! one of the greatest seniors. he also is still hardcore crushing on a a certain asian. not gonna happen, cliff :-(

  12. Bill  

    Cliff is awesome!! Really modest senior wisdom, especially considering everything Cliff has done for others. I've served with him on ABC and he always seems to know every single detail about everything. Check out cuwiki sometime--he shares his vast wealth of knowledge on the site. One of the people I know who genuinely care about the people who go here.

  13. win  

    everything about this senior wisdom from the awesome things he learned which sounds like the best advice to freshies to the delightful cheese answer was stellar.

  14. the blue magi  

    has gotten many a free t-shirt from mr massey. jenga.

  15. Yknow  

    I've only met him twice I kinda have a huge crush on this guy. Probably shouldn't tell my gf.

  16. another  

    student government tool. still waiting on that finance guy... be representative some huge percent of the sr class is going into business in generally, im sure they have a voice too

    CMON BWOG

  17. why  

    is everybody unemployed?

  18. yo  

    If this kid's unemployed, there is no hope for the rest of us...

  19. so this is the guy  

    who rigged the housing lottery and gave his friends better numbers. what a douche

  20. Anonymous  

    i wouldnt piss on this shit if he were on fire

  21. Equally  

    horrified and impressed with the cheese/oral sex answer. Mostly horrified. Nicely done.

  22. Karishma Habbu  

    Tell it how it is Cliff - I learned something today. From YOU.

  23. So true  

    about the Lerner back stairs. Ramps are such a waste of time. I heard the positioning of ramps and mailboxes were designed so that students would be forced to socialize with each other on their way to get their letters--is this true?

  24. yehboi

    Cliff = sexy as hell

  25. The King of Spain  

    I love this overachieving-finance troll is brilliant. He taps into some deep currents of self-loathing.

  26. Anonymous  

    don't know you but you sound awesome and definitely should've tried out for sabor. we would've loved you and taught you SUCH sexy dances! :)

  27. Anonymous  

    I LOVE SABOR

  28. I think  

    you dance well Cliff. I liked the way you did the Cupid shuffle.. it was so cute teehee

  29. two words  

    mandelbrot fractal

  30. Anonymous  

    great guy. cute too.

  31. Anonymous

    Cliff may have done a lot for this school, but he is a narcissist. It would be nice if he could look up to talk to you rather than make time while checking his email or his reflection on his iPhone.

  32. .....  

    Omg! Ty Gonzalez.....

  33. Ty Gonzalez  

    I don't appreciate that

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