May

9

Senior Wisdom: Whitney Green

Written by

Name, school: Whitney Green, SEAS

Claim to fame: President of the Engineering Student Council, Beat-boxing extraordinaire, Awesome facial expressions (or so I am told), Getting to do a senior wisdom!

Where are you going? After this year? To take a nap.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  1. Anything and everything can be made into an acronym
  2. I can rock the hell out of Columbia blue! : )
  3. If I actually engineered anything, the world would be in trouble

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I like to laugh. A lot. And I prefer people to laugh with me.  So if I can bring a smile to your face, then I’ve fulfilled my purpose.

Any war stories from the War on Fun? My greatest opponent seems to be the senate.  I’ve been in some kind of issue with them for at least 3 years now (SEAS senate elections, academic calendar, etc.) and it feels like I’ve been conversing with a giant black hole.  But don’t worry senate, I’ll be back for more rounds…Oh, and that time I almost fell down President Bollinger’s steps at a fireside chat.  One wrong step and there I went smashing Chinese food against the wall.  But I managed to catch myself just in time to look up and see the entire room staring at me.  Then the coordinator said with a ‘wth’ face, “Please hold on to the banister.” So me vs. Prezbo’s house? Me ftw.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Seriously, who came up with this question?

Any advice for the Class of 2014?

  1. You can get almost any done if you have the right leverage.
  2. Smile, it goes a long way.
  3. You need two things for a great turnout: free food and free t-shirts
  4. Sleep when you graduate.  There is too much to take advantage of to lose anytime.
  5. The best things you will take away from this experience are the relationships with the people you will meet.  So step outside of your comfort zone and get to know others (their strengths, passions, cultures and talents). You’ll find that by doing this, you’ll discover new things about yourself.
  6. A 20% on an exam is awesome when the class average is 16%.

Any regrets? I never got a chance to run a giant slinky down Low steps.  But glass half full right?

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55 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    Yay Whitney... She is so great! I wish I got to spend more time with her over the past four years.

  2. Fanboy

    AAAHHHHHH!!!! WHITNEY GREEENNNNNN!!!!!! AAAHHHHH

    *faints*

  3. Anonymous  

    whitney's the best

  4. Anonymous2

    4. Sleep when you graduate. There is too much to take advantage of to lose anytime.

    Eh, I always felt that I wasn't really experiencing things when semi-somolent

  5. grr  

    cool girl, boring wisdom

  6. Awesome Girl  

    But the sleep when you graduate advice is terrible. For pre-frosh and others, everything else she said is right on; however, SLEEP. It is not worth compromising your health for school, and in the long run you will probably do worse.

    I was going to say get your beauty rest, then I looked in the mirror and realized that the two don't always correlate.

  7. you know who  

    hold the bar, Whitney. Hold the goddamn bar.

  8. whitney  

    is AWESOME! absolutely one of the best seniors out there. columbia, seas, esc, and all of us have been lucky to have a champion like her. one of the best personalities ever and selflessly hard-working, dedicated, and supportive.

    just don't waste your talents and energies on the bedeviled senate, whit. you are meant for much, much bigger and better things. leave them to their sad fantasies of power and import in low library's inferno..."fixed in the slime, they say, 'sullen were we in the sweet air that by the sun is gladdened, bearing within ourselves the sluggish fume; now we are sullen in the black mire.' this hymn they gurgle in their throats, for they cannot speak with entire words."

  9. love her

    whitney is the best hair modeling agent ever!

  10. wayne simonetti  

    senior wisdom

  11. Anonymous  

    proud to be her cuppie

  12. LOL  

    "Seriously, who came up with this question?"

    Rob Trump

  13. Dear whitney,

    The senate finds you frustrating too.

    Love and kisses,

    A senator

  14. WHOOO!  

    Whitney Green is one of the greatest people on campus. For serious. Also she is a crazy talented beatboxer.

  15. a little

    abrasive, no?

  16. Anonymous  

    rajat roy for bwog senior wisdom!

  17. Another  

    Great Senior Wisdom.

    I wish I was friends with her. It's nice to see people who aren't the Columbia paradox, self-righteous, yet self-deprecating

  18. Anonymous

    Why are people taking such offense to "sleep when you graduate"? Thanks for the health concerns, but Whitney's right - take advantage, there's so much to do. C'mon.

    This is pretty solid, one of the better entries this year (pretty lackluster group overall). What about an athlete? Or another Barnard lady? Ross Ramone would make a great choice, a really well-rounded athlete. Emma Siesfeld is one of the funniest people I know.

  19. ...  

    I love Emma Siesfeld. Emma, if you read this, this is your favorite freshman. He was dancing at the central park dance party. You know...

  20. hahaha

    that prezbo story had me laughing for a solid minute...hilarious

  21. Anonymous  

    dave mulhern for senior wisdom

  22. OMGod  

    WHINNNNNEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  23. next senior wisdom!  

    mike molina plz!! he's awesome

  24. meh  

    she seems lame

  25. whitney  

    is awesome!

  26. Anonymous

    only one barnard girl so far on senior wisdom... step it up bwog

    • Anonymous  

      why is that a bad thing?

    • SEAS  

      based on the thumbs ups and downs in the whole CC vs. Barnard battle, most BWOG readers, at least the ones who care, are from Barnard. pity... off to the Spectrum then!

      • Anonymous  

        ok so this whole thumbs up/down thing on bwog is a good idea, but hiding the thumbs down comments seems silly, since bwog commenters are all about the controversy and seeing hidden comments just makes me want to read them! unnecessary step!

      • ummm...  

        how do you know that most of the readers 'who care' are from Barnard? it's not like everyone in CC and SEAS hates Barnard. this 'battle' that you speak of is only illustrated in Bwog and similar websites, and rarely (if ever) in actual life.

  27. Anonymous  

    definitely dave mulhern....he's awesome

  28. gosh

    i can't believe all she's going to do after graduating is nap! why did she spend so much $$$ and time to not get a job after college. whitney must have no ambition...


    ....is what that douchebag from before would say. yay whitney!

  29. The SEAS Reverend  

    Yay Whit! Congrats again on another successful year on ESC.

  30. A friend  

    Sam Reisman should do a senior wisdom -- student gov't people are boring as hell by definition.

  31. Anonymous

    Sonya Shadravan for Senior Wisdom! She's amazing!

  32. OMFG  

    WHITNEY GREEN HAVE MY BABIES

    But seriously.

    <#

  33. whiNNNEEY  

    this is (not) deysy but whitney, you are hilarious, and I love you, even if I can't shriek as high as deysy. BCR!!!!

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