Wake Up And Learn Things With Bwog, Round 4

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It’s listening time, kids. The Blue & White bestows more gems of wisdom:

  • So you’ve arrived on campus, and you’re eager to find that work-study job that pays ten dollars an hour to sit on your derriere and do homework. Well, oh most Francophilic freshman, the B&W has some advice for you: avoid the Butler Reserves. It might look like a desk job, but you’ll soon find yourself leaving the desk, trudging through the labyrinthine shelves for some patron whom you desperately want to patronize. Instead of Butler, the B&W suggests you try finding employment at the Physics library. Do you know where the Physics library is? Do your fellow freshmen? Exactly. [Ed note: The Physics Library is now closed, but the Geology and Music Libraries also do the trick].
  • Remember that you’re the smartest student in your Literature Humanities section. If, however, some insidious usurper poses a threat to your status, casually remind your professor of where the real brains are by citing only sources in Church Slavonic penned by scholars with names like Dionysius the Pseudo-Areopagite.

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  1. Stupid  

    Bwog, the Physics Library was closed in 2009.

  2. CC 13

    And for the love of God, do not try to be cool by comparing everything to gangsta rap. This will backfire.

  3. forget work study  

    freshmen with any babysitting experience: call one of those families up, get a recommendation letter, and babysit on the UWS. You get paid $20+ an hour and you can do your homework after the kids fall asleep.

  4. Anonymous

    How is this posted at 10 AM if I am reading it at 9 AM?

  5. CC'14  

    Do people usually give professors food at the first class? In high school, I used to give my teachers peanut brittle, but I guess I could just buy some at Morton's!

  6. Hey Freshmen

    You can also sound smart by citing TED lectures, they are designed to spark thought, so if you are ever stuck on an essay or an assignment, TED is the place to go. Plus, your prof will think you spend your time reading books and watching lectures instead of partying, which may make them bump up your grade.

  7. ...

    Ed Note: Edit your Ed Notes. Any editing will do the trick--by a fellow writer, a Spec copy-editor, or even a passing bum will do the trick.

  8. music major library tends to be full of people studying. and i find myself requesting things either from offsite or via a search at least half of my times there. music library is not a sit-on-your-ass job, sorry.

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