I got locked out of my room after showering. Again. With running mascara rivaling the Corpse Bride, I trudged down to the Hospitality Desk. That’s the fifth time this week. This has got to stop.
Tim Burton Extra
Dear Tim Burton Extra,
We promise the Hospitality folks are unfazed. They’ve probs seen everything from nip slips to Spiderman boxer briefs. Even so, getting locked out is fucking annoying. Two options:
Option A) The Counterfeit Key*
Step 1) Find a SEAS kid. Or someone mechanically skilled. Or someone mildly sketchy. These may overlap.
Step 2) Present your savior with an old gift card or credit card.
Step 3) Line up your VING key with the card and drill deftly and defiantly. Way to stick it to the man.
* Always keep this key in you shower caddy.
Option B) The Door Disabler
Step 1) Find a screwdriver.
Step 2) See that black triangular hinge at the upper corner of your door. It controls the force requires to open the door and how quickly it closes. Remember that time you went to check on that kid stumbling down the hall and, before you knew it, the door slammed behind you. If you’d dismantled that hinge, you would’ve caught the door.