Dec

15

Professor Archetypes: The Tweedster

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With pre-Kerouac horn-rimmed glasses and a penchant for using Yiddish terminology in lecture, the Tweedster is both your favorite professor of all time and your grandfather’s Long Beach High Class of ‘48 classmate. You could fit two of your Wien singles into their southern-facing (northern light is for scholars of Africa, Asia, South America) Fayerweather 6 palaces and still have room leftover for each edition of their twenty-two published volumes of history.

The Tweedster could spend your entire lecture recounting anecdotes of Delancey Street back when Sammy’s Roumanian was cheap and no one would mind. The Tweedster does not want to see your cell phone. The Tweedster does not want to hear you talk about the signified and the signifier. The Tweedster does not fuck with Foucault. This isn’t University Writing, son. The Tweedster and his tweedy friends live in Morningside Heights ca. 1952. We didn’t know from Gender Theory then, and it was better that way.

–Eliza Shapiro
Illustration by Suzanna Buck

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8 Comments

  1. cc'11

    so easy, might as well have a put a picture of "reconstruction."

  2. equals

    Sam Schube + 50 years

  3. Anonymous  

    PROFESSOR SOMERVILLE

    He has the tweed, the bow tie, the arm patches, the glasses, and the coiffed white hair. He's the epitome of a college prof.

    Somerville is a tweedster!!

  4. Sammy's Roumanian!  

    It WAS cheap back in the day. My family ate there all the time in the 1970s. SO TASTY.

    I can't even afford the appetizers now.

  5. Anonymous

    prof stanislawski fits a shocking amount of that description

  6. das racialist

    didn't know what from gender theory?

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