Dec

19

Primal Scream for Noobs

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Finals got you down? Then you can verbally vent your frustrations by participating in the Primal Scream. The guide for new students:

  1. If your clock or watch is not auto-synced to the NIST’s Cesium Fountain Atomic Clock (i.e. the Internet), make sure you’ve set it correctly. When in doubt, Bwog recommends a cell phone for superior accuracy.
  2. At midnight, open your window or go outside.
  3. . Loudly. It should sound like this. Morningside Heights residents will wonder if you’ve been “skewered,” apparently.
  4. Keep it short. Some of you will be tempted to scream for more than three minutes. Ignore this temptation.

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24 Comments

  1. can i scream in  

    4th floor butler?

  2. its  

    pretty calm in here sbut

  3. AAAA....  

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. AAAA...  

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

  5. Anonymous

    Aaahhhhhh

    I had to poop really bad. So I can't scream outside

  6. YOU KNOW WHAT  

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

  7. Not screaming  

    My non-Columbia, middle-aged neighbor: "Shut up you fucking assholes!"

  8. housing advice  

    if you want a place where the primal scream feels like a funeral service, live in River

  9. I think  

    can we have something a little less lame to relieve stress? maybe at least a fucking undie run?

  10. who  

    was the tool in ec that had to scream 2 minutes after everybody else was done?

  11. Anonymous

    The cursor of evil doom.
    It is laughing at my thoughts.
    I can not stop but for the fear of the cursor’s rhythmic laugh
    My mind pauses for one second
    Yet the cursor does not wait
    It blinks at me
    Bashfully, like it expected better of me.
    I try to keep it appeased, by
    Typing as quickly as I can, for
    Perhaps if my words flow to the paper
    Quickly enough, the cursor will stay
    Straight as a line, solid and unbreakable
    But in fact, no, no, I can never do well enough
    For it, for it will never stop, but I will
    Eventually.
    As the waves of imagination
    Crash on the shore of deadlines
    (I have a paper due in 9 hours
    And 26 minutes)
    The beach of progress seems affected
    But for an instant, it is possible to see
    The sand castle of impregnability
    Slowly dissolving by the force of the strident water.
    But no! Look to the north! Therein
    lies a small child, no!, a fleet of small children
    Of dimensions multifaceted, small and short
    And tall and fat, unattractive all
    Building more, more sand castles
    Of various types
    Not only of impregnability
    But of impenetrability, unperturbitude,
    And impermeability.

  12. to the second screamer  

    on the 403 recording: your bravery will forever inspire me. your scream, breaking a pause that nobody thought could ever be broken, will always be with me. i will always hear it in my ears...screaming. forever.

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