Bwog’s Brotastic Midterm Brocrastination

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Things to Avoid: Party Fouls

It’s time for midterms, Columbia, and if you haven’t already, pretty soon you will need to study. And if you will need to study, obviously, you will need to procrastinate. And if you need to procrastinate, who better to ask than a bro? This is Bwog’s official guide to online brocrastination:

BroBible: Every bro has a story

  • Sample Headline: The 50 Hottest Colombian Women
  • Sample Content: “At some point in his life, every man dreams of owning a beautiful, expensive sports car. They’re fast, flashy, and drop panties like its their job.”

Bros Like This Site: Bros like all this shit

  • Sample Headline: #89 Hating Hipsters
  • Sample Content: “Much like girls in America go down on pretty much anything with a European accent, you better believe that shit works the other way around when bros go abroad. If you can get past the whole armpit hair bullshit, then you should be ready for a nice foreign pounding.”

On The Bro’d: Every Sentence Of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, Retold For Bros.

  • Sample Headline: 62 – Car Surfing And Shotgunning
  • Sample Content: “How that RV flew through the Nebraska chode—the chode that sticks out over Colorado! And soon I realized I was for real over Colorado, though not for real in it, but looking southwest toward Denver itself a few hundred miles away. I got stoked as fuck. We shotgunned some Natties.”

Barstool U: By the C- Student for the C- Student

MyLifeIsBro: Life is pretty chill today, bro.

suburban basement via Wikimedia Commons

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  1. Anonymous  

    I recognize that Bwog may be posting this as a tongue-in-cheek remark, but I don't enjoy coming to a favorite campus website and finding offensive, misogynistic remarks posted - even to laugh at them.

  2. that girl with the nice rack in the pictur  

    probably doesn't go to columbia...

  3. Not bro

    That table is way too short, bro

  4. hahahahha  

    bwog this is the funniest thing ever

  5. how can you  

    have a post about bros without Tucker Max?

  6. Let us not forget, a thorough overview of what it might be like to go to a state school in the south. Fascinating!

  7. its clear that  

    bwog is nothing but slanted journalism and stupid ass humor?

    where is the bwog of freshman year that was fucking catty and real? new mgmt suxxx

  8. person  

    Today, forty NYPD officers busted down my frat house door and arrested me for selling hallucinogens. MLIB.

  9. Nice

    Best posting of all time Bwog.

  10. Anonymous  

    Every college blog/website really leads me to question why I came here...

  11. Anyone  

    who thinks this is funny must partially hate women. Really bwog this is pretty low.

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