You won't need to waste your money (read: flex) on this if you're staying in the city!

In light of that ever-approaching midterm grind–oh wait, it’s already here—we don’t blame you for spending hours every day fantasizing about the impending spring break madness that will commence in just 10 short days. We’re all guilty of it. One Bwogger even confessed to ordering a bikini and one of those giant floppy sun hats online during a particularly uneventful CC lecture. But for those Columbians who—whether by choice, financial constraint, or just a general laziness toward planning—will be staying in the city this year, take heart. Your friends, foes, and suitemates alike might get to frolic on the beaches of Cabo, but Morningside Heights won’t be so bad either. To demonstrate this, we’ve compiled a starter list of things to do if you don’t have any spring break plans. Veterans of the Manhattan staycation, leave your suggestions in the comments!

  • Catch up on TV. Between that Aeneid essay you had last week, the February Gen Chem midterm you really meant to study for, and CU Assassination drama, we don’t blame you for not knowing the current state of Hank and Karen, or Liz Lemon and Carol (or, who are we kidding, Sammi and Ronnie). Between Hulu and Sidereel and Netflix Instant Watch, the internet is your oyster.
  • Go to dive bars. Since all of New York’s college kids will be out of town, you’re bound to at least feel like you’re in another state when the only other bar-hoppers you meet are from Connecticut and New Jersey.
  • Do something weird, like visit every Wondee Siam location in Manhattan and compare Pad Thai dishes. Apparently there are five! There’s bound to be some difference—peanut to chicken ratio?—and you owe it to your vacationing friends to find it. Bonus challenge: they don’t seem to have an official website.
  • Get a fake tan. Everyone knows the best part about spring break is coming back to rainy Columbia and showing off your tan lines, casually, as if you were going to wear that weird sleeveless crop top thing with shoulder cut-outs anyway. If you’re willing to ignore the whole skin cancer thing, there are a bunch of places around the city where you can go work up a Bahamas-worthy tan.
  • Validate yourself by thinking about all of the money you’re saving by NOT getting belligerently drunk in the Caribbean and buying a round of drinks for 17 strangers. Try very hard not to accidentally end up doing this in Campo anyway.
  • Campus will be virtually empty, so take the opportunity to do all of the things you usually complain in tips to Bwog that you can’t do during the normal school year. Here are some examples: package center errands, finally returning that textbook to the CU bookstore for the class you dropped in January, finding Harmony, eating however many Westside samples you can stomach…
  • Visit the brain exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History (it closes this August!). Extra points if you quote Pinky and the Brain incessantly. Don’t forget to stop by Kent this week and get your spring ID sticker.