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Staycations Are Exciting, Too

You won't need to waste your money (read: flex) on this if you're staying in the city!

In light of that ever-approaching midterm grind–oh wait, it’s already here—we don’t blame you for spending hours every day fantasizing about the impending spring break madness that will commence in just 10 short days. We’re all guilty of it. One Bwogger even confessed to ordering a bikini and one of those giant floppy sun hats online during a particularly uneventful CC lecture. But for those Columbians who—whether by choice, financial constraint, or just a general laziness toward planning—will be staying in the city this year, take heart. Your friends, foes, and suitemates alike might get to frolic on the beaches of Cabo, but Morningside Heights won’t be so bad either. To demonstrate this, we’ve compiled a starter list of things to do if you don’t have any spring break plans. Veterans of the Manhattan staycation, leave your suggestions in the comments!

  • Catch up on TV. Between that Aeneid essay you had last week, the February Gen Chem midterm you really meant to study for, and CU Assassination drama, we don’t blame you for not knowing the current state of Hank and Karen, or Liz Lemon and Carol (or, who are we kidding, Sammi and Ronnie). Between Hulu and Sidereel and Netflix Instant Watch, the internet is your oyster.
  • Go to dive bars. Since all of New York’s college kids will be out of town, you’re bound to at least feel like you’re in another state when the only other bar-hoppers you meet are from Connecticut and New Jersey.
  • Do something weird, like visit every Wondee Siam location in Manhattan and compare Pad Thai dishes. Apparently there are five! There’s bound to be some difference—peanut to chicken ratio?—and you owe it to your vacationing friends to find it. Bonus challenge: they don’t seem to have an official website.
  • Get a fake tan. Everyone knows the best part about spring break is coming back to rainy Columbia and showing off your tan lines, casually, as if you were going to wear that weird sleeveless crop top thing with shoulder cut-outs anyway. If you’re willing to ignore the whole skin cancer thing, there are a bunch of places around the city where you can go work up a Bahamas-worthy tan.
  • Validate yourself by thinking about all of the money you’re saving by NOT getting belligerently drunk in the Caribbean and buying a round of drinks for 17 strangers. Try very hard not to accidentally end up doing this in Campo anyway.
  • Campus will be virtually empty, so take the opportunity to do all of the things you usually complain in tips to Bwog that you can’t do during the normal school year. Here are some examples: package center errands, finally returning that textbook to the CU bookstore for the class you dropped in January, finding Harmony, eating however many Westside samples you can stomach…
  • Visit the brain exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History (it closes this August!). Extra points if you quote Pinky and the Brain incessantly. Don’t forget to stop by Kent this week and get your spring ID sticker.
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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Just come up here to Wash Heights and party like it’s 1989!

  • Van Owen says:

    @Van Owen I hate to be a downer, but please consider NOT going to Mexico for spring break. Mexico is becoming a failed state and security for tourists is not a priority. Mexican law enforcement officials are not able stand up against the cartels and security for tourists is not their priority. Tourists are seen as easy targets for kidnapping. Sadly, most Mexican citizens are warm and hospitable, but many of them are routinely victimized by the cartels and the police. I would consider boycotting all travel into Mexico.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous You just entered the “no fun zone” turn off the Oreilly factor and pack your bags

      1. Van Owen says:

        @Van Owen You ought to go then. We vehemently protest ROTC and set up mock walls on campus, but why doesn’t anyone care about the 20,000 Mexicans who have been killed since 2006? Most of these victims were innocent and had nothing to due with the cartels. Obviously you have no clue about what’s going on inside Mexico, or rather anything outside of your dorm. You are adopted by the way. I know this because when I was banging your mom she told me, but that is neither here nor there, but I thought you’d like to know. You are definitely one sad excuse of a wasted life. I’d recommend you extract your head from your ass and try to acquire an education. You inspired Charlie Sheen’s rant and you are “a droopy eyed armless douche.” Oh, O’Reilly is a sycophant, and you just may be one as well. Lastly, chinga tu madre puta. Fucking troll.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Add copious amounts of alcohol to all of these activities and they are immediately 10X better. Hell..doing laundry can be a great evening activity (read: challenge) if I’m intoxicated.

    I’m staying here over break and plan to be getting shittyyy for a good 75% of it. Increase. More is in fact more.

    …and fuck Bermuda.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Everyone in my major but me and two others get to go to Berlin. Really hard not to be jealous…

    Still, I am a huge supporter of day trips. For around $40 you can get out of the city to places like Rosendale or Princeton or Montauk or the Appalachian Trail. Or go weird places around the city you never would otherwise, like Rockaway Park or Staten Island. Or, you know, Brooklyn or Queens. I actually think it’s more fun to be in NYC than anywhere else over spring break. I mean, when else do you have unlimited time to do whatever you want?

  • Actually says:

    @Actually There are only 4 Wondee’s! There’s no Wondee Siam 4.

  • Harmony Hall Lepruchaun says:

    @Harmony Hall Lepruchaun You’ll never catch me, or my Lucky Charms!

  • psssh says:

    @psssh I’ll be build a scale replicate of CU in minecraft using no hacks and build cools stuff at my work study job, what now.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous I’ve been wanting to do this forever! I love minecraft!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous That sticker on your ID won’t get you into AMNH. It’s not an art museum.

    1. But says:

      @But You can pay what you want. And if that amount happens to be one dollar (or less), you won’t get dirty looks if you flash your ID.

    2. fyi says:

      @fyi the brain exhibit totally sucks. huge ripoff. It was full of toddlers, one of whom screamed “my brain is telling me to get out of here!

    3. also says:

      @also the brain exhibit is extra, so even if you don’t pay anything for regular admission, you stil have to pay $15 for that one.

      sucks a big one.

  • psh says:

    @psh these all suck.

    the best thing to do over break is psychedelic drugs

  • Basically what ur saying is says:

    @Basically what ur saying is Be a couch potatoe, hang out with the depressed in dive bars, get the Thai food shits, accelerate cancer, realize being poor sucks, go to school on spring break, and nerd out in a museum. Haha sounds like the worst spring break ever!!!!!! 8 days till Aculpoco!!!!!!!!!!! Spring break fucking rules!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous potatoe? really?

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous Some people come to college to party (male republicans), some come to be learnded. Bush the ultimate bro couldn’t even read and look how far he got, option one pays divedends, option two leads to a life of misery trapped in academia, so suck it

    2. Enjoy your "spring break" says:

      @Enjoy your "spring break" because by your comment, it doesn’t even sound like you go to college.

      1. Come on guys, says:

        @Come on guys, Really? You guys really haven’t learned how to spot a troll by now?

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