Apr

18

What’s Up With Scooters?

Written by

Topless Old Man Bwog

In this rapidly changing world, we sometimes feels a little behind the times. Old Man Bwog aims to address the eternal gripe: “What’s up With That?”

Dear Parents of the Scooting Youth,

How would you feel if I walked into your backyards, set up three foot-tall hurdles all over the place, and watched your frustrated efforts to avoid my traps? How about if I put wheels on those hurdles and built them out of the flesh of toddlers? Well that’s what I feel like every time I narrowly avoid one of your children hurtling across campus on some newfangled scooter. As the collective elderly consciousness of Columbia students, I walk across campus constantly, quickly, and without any peripheral vision. For all you math-types, let me put it this way: Your little bundle of joy + my trajectory = big mess. Kids don’t have any respect these days, and if you want to teach your kids any rules, you better start by teaching them to respect the laws of physics. That means no cheating friction!

Yours Grumbly,

Bwog

Curmudgeon via wikimedia.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

14 Comments

  1. Kendale Winbush  

    Kendale Winbush

  2. CC'13

    scooter children are almost as bad as skateboard kids. get outta here you crazy skateboard kids!

  3. Real Curmudgeon  

    You are a priviledged whinny idiot. Get out of my way the next time I am walking down the sidewalk and you fail to see me because you are too busy tiping some mundane stupid SMS into your piece of shit Android phone. In other words Go fuck yourself.

  4. Anonymous  

    SCOOT OR DIE!

  5. uhh, bwog?  

    You know you need a guardians explicit consent to post pictures of children, right? Right? Cause this is creepy.

  6. Anonymous  

    NEVER TOO OLD TO SCOOT

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.