May

3

Senior Wisdom: Diana Greenwald

Written by

Wake up and learn things from the Class of 2011.

Name, school: Diana Greenwald, Columbia College

Claim to fame: Co-captain of the Columbia University Equestrian (Club) Team, getting upset about various Club Sports policies, COÖP, being a born-and-raised New Yorker who is also politically conservative, overly enthusiastic (verging on aggressive) participant in intramural sports

Where are you going? Hopping the pond. I’m going to Oxford to study Economic and Social History.

Three things you learned at Columbia:
1. How to glue shot glasses to a ski
2. There is a book in the Columbia libraries on every subject you could possibly think of. I used a book called Artists in Ohio, 1787-1900 for my senior thesis. True story.
3. I’m a nerd, you’re a nerd, we’re all nerds—and it’s frickin’ awesome.

“Back in my day…” Hormonal wizards were way cooler than hormonal vampires

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Life goal: found an alumni cooperative to buy Havana Central and restore the West End to its former glory as the storied bar of choice for generations of Columbians.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? The War on Fun is absolutely on going. Columbia is a large university with an administration that frequently behaves as if this institution is a large corporation. It is and will continue to be (at least until Robert Kasdin leaves) our job to constantly remind administrators that undergraduates are not just walking liabilities, but enthusiastic and vital members of this community. Columbia without this energy—without fun—would be a very bleak place. War story of choice: I had a disciplinary hearing for attempting to tamper with the Columbia College flag from the flagpole in front of the Public Safety office.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? One of my favorite authors from Contemporary Civilization is J.S. Mill. I will therefore apply his harm principle to this question. Too much cheese can be bad for you—obesity, heart disease, etc. To my knowledge, oral sex has none of these negative side effects.

Advice for the class of 2015: College is an essential academic and social experience. This university offers you both an amazing education and an amazing group of quirky and passionate people who become wonderful friends. The academic experience can—to a certain extent—be re-created in graduate school. The social experience cannot. Your friends and all the time you get to spend with them is the best part of college. Keep that in mind when you freak out because you went out instead of working on a problem set and/or essay.

Any regrets? I started to follow my own advice later than I should have.

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35 Comments

  1. Equestrian TEAM?!  

    Strictly forbidden!

  2. Anonymous  

    diana is the nicest person ever!!! you go, glenn coco.

  3. Anonymous  

    LOVE HER!

  4. Yo go Diana

    you're the tits

  5. HOT GOSS

    Is that Diana once walked a mile through the Canary Islands desert for a wheel of cheese. So...

  6. Anonymous

    but im liking that for the most part, this is the first batch of senior wisdoms where the majority people are picking oral sex over cheese. Usually people try and be all cute with their love of cheese.

  7. you  

    just slaughtered the harm principle...wow.. its about OTHER people, you can do whatever you want to yourself....

  8. YAYY!

    great senior wisdom, diana!!! :)

  9. wait diana  

    is actually the first person i met here and she made me so excited to be here to meet more people like her-exciting, passionate, brilliant people who make the experience what it is.
    love love love her, wish she weren't so far away next year!

  10. ahh the shot ski  

    long live the Man Suite

  11. Anonymous  

    "The academic experience can—to a certain extent—be re-created in graduate school. The social experience cannot....Keep that in mind when you freak out because you went out instead of working on a problem set and/or essay."

    But don't you see that I won't get IN to grad school if I go out instead of working on my essay!!!!!??

  12. Big Fan!  

    Diana is wonderful! Terrific sense of humor and genuinely a kind gal!

  13. Anonymous

    "... To my knowledge, oral sex has none of these negative side effects."

    There's increased oropharyngeal cancer (and it isn't because young adults have been smoking cigarettes since they were in kindergarten).

  14. Anonymous

    DIANA IS MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER!

  15. Anonymous

    Dear Mom,
    We are going to miss you tremendously next year, thank you so much for everything!
    love,
    your diabetic children

  16. wait  

    what's this about havana central being restored to the west end??

  17. Anonymous

    That's not the harm principle.

  18. Diana  

    Guys, I’m aware that I misrepresented the harm principle. It is described in Mill’s On Liberty, and I view it as a response and alternative to Rousseau’s opinion that the minority should, basically no matter what, submit to the will of the majority. It is also a response to and reinterpretation of Bentham’s utilitarianism. This submission was light-hearted and jokey, and I apologize for not being precise enough for Columbians who are (and I would expect no less) always on the ball. Let me explain why I link Mill and the oral sex vs. cheese question: Mill and his wife Harriet Smith apparently attempted to lead their lives and conduct their marriage according to Benthamite principles, that is to say with an eye to how their behaviors and interactions did or did not provide utility to the other. In my opinion, in a romantic relationship oral sex provides much more utility than cheese ever will. So, I am not really applying Mill’s harm principle to the oral sex vs. cheese question, but rather considering Mill’s personal conduct—inspired by his own ingenious engagement with utilitarianism—when considering this question. Now, aren’t you glad this long-winded answer was not in my Senior Wisdom?

    • hahaha

      diana you're awesome and a senior don't feel obligated to respond to some asshole's post about whether or not you understand mill's harm principle. and good lord it was a question about oral sex vs cheese clearly you were trying to be cute (and succeeding, i might add), people are just too serious and nitpicky these days. HMPH.

  19. Diana (again)  

    Before someone can correct me on this: Mill's wife was Harriet Taylor (later Harriet Taylor Mill) and not Harriet Smith. Apologies that my memory is a bit rusty.

  20. to Diana

    Why are you answering to these people who are nitpicking about philosophical principles on your senior wisdom?! Girl, it's YOUR senior wisdom! Say whatever you want!!

    Unless you felt compelled, of your own volition, to further explain Mill's harm principle/personal conduct to the entire bwog-reading body...if so, then on with all the explanation.

    But if not, f*ck that.

    Congratulations on being done. : )

  21. 'STEND  

    EXISTENCE=JUSTIFIED

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