Senior Wisdom: Zoe Lubitz

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In honor of Orgo Night, Senior Wisdoms continue with the marching band’s flautist extraordinaire.

Name, school: Zoe Lubitz, Columbia College

Claim to fame: CUMB Flutist, COÖP Leader (yeahhh bikers), Flute Choir President, former JJ6-er who indeed still takes the elevator

Where are you going? Forward. You know those old people who say college was the best four years of their lives? I’d like this to be untrue.

Three things you learned at Columbia:
1. Explore campus! You’ll discover things like: Always go through SIPA to get between EC and Appletree/Vino Fino. The vending machines in the basement of Schermerhorn. The locations of the most reliable printers on campus (I’m still searching). The cookies at Brownies. The incredible tree to the right of the chapel on the way to EC.
2. Facial feedback. Google it. Basically the idea is that if you smile, you can trick your brain into feeling happiness.
3. It seems cool these days to say that Columbia has no school spirit. I’d advise some more time with the Marching Band. Always go to Orgo Night.

“Back in my day…” Back in my day, I used to see Jonathan Taylor Thomas all over campus. Sorry to you guys who missed out on the Simba jokes.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: As a kid I was once on Sesame Street.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Well there was this one time at band camp…

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese never disappoints.

Advice for the class of 2015
-Butler may be open 24 hours a day, but this does in no way imply that you should ever choose the library over sleep. Not only is sleep healthier than not-sleep, it is fun. Also, I hear there are bed bugs in Butler these days.
-Take classes you’re passionate about with professors who can actually hold your attention. It’s easier to learn when the material is interesting to you.
-Everyone sitting behind you in lecture can see your computer screen. Thanks to this phenomenon, I know what you shop for on the internet, I know who you stalk on Facebook, and I know that you’re addicted to colorful flashing internet games. I’ll withhold judgment.
-Keep in touch with your high school friends. If you didn’t have friends in high school, make sure you find people here that really mean something to you. Don’t try to lone wolf this college thing or it will be distinctly less fun.

Any regrets? More spicy specials.

Know someone wise? Tell us about them (and their UNI) at

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  1. ROP  


  2. zoe!!  

    a cool girl.

  3. Anonymous  

    Yeaaaahhhhh flute choir! Zoe's the coolest. :)

  4. Anonymous  

    yayyyyy zoe!!

  5. gtbtb

    best senior wisdom

  6. Anonymous  

    I enjoyed this.

  7. Anonymous  

    Zoe is the greatest person in the whole wide world!

  8. ProudJJ6alum  

    We will always take the elevator. Long live King Nedu!

  9. hey

    i still take the elevator too


  10. Ali  

    Good advice--I like this facial feedback idea. Also, I completely agree on the computers in lecture thing--I once sat behind a kid watching a movie in Gulati's principles.

  11. JH

    YAY ZOE! She's the best. :)

  12. BWOG!!!  

    This is a great senior wisdom but...Where is ALEX GORTMAN'S senior wisdom?? It's so funny!

  13. CC '11  

    This girl's is cute, but I think Bwog can do better/funnier. Where is Alex Gortman's?

  14. CC '11  

    Where's Alex Gortman's??!!

  15. CMT

    ZOE, I LOVE YOU. You are the greatest.

  16. Anonymous  

    most reliable printers? dunno 'bout most, but here's my list, in no particular order.

  17. Anonymous  

    i had totally forgotten about JTT... good times indeed

  18. CC '13  

    Alex Gortman!

  19. JimJam  

    We love you Zoe! go get 'em.

  20. Anonymous  

    Zoe, I do hope it will be untrue. And, I suspect those folks who think otherwise are full of it, and have no foresight.

  21. jer

    ZOESTER FTW!!!! Ti Amo. Formaggio presto.

  22. Van Owen

    I'd like to mate with you Zoe. All night long.

  23. sari

    ZOE is amazing!!!!!!

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