Senior Wisdom: Brenden Cline
Written by Bwog Staff
Another senior bestows his wisdom upon us heathens.
Name, school: Brenden Cline, Columbia College
Claim to fame: I’m the guy to blame for the ranked choice voting system that let CU Charge win the last CCSC election (jk Aki!). I once flustered Ann Coulter. I also started the GreenBorough Special Interest Community on 114th. Full resume available upon request.
Where are you going? Washington D.C. to do economic consulting for government agencies, mostly the EPA.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
1) Loose lips spawn microagressions.
2) We live in the age of the Internet where you’re as smart as how quickly you can use your smart phone.
3) My education was a watered down version of what it should have been. Self-interested academic departments compete to attract students so they can secure more funding and faculty appointments, and some sacrifice rigor to broaden their base. See: Sustainable Development (my minor).
“Back in my day…” Campus scandals were caused by liberal radicals and Islamic dictators, not questionably-literate frat boys and my (former) thesis advisor.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’m an economist-vegetarian: I don’t pay for meat or let it go to waste.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? MMA said there’s a ceasefire in the War on Fun for Senior Week so I think it’s just taking a power nap. That said, Public Safety doesn’t care about SIC people. Party in GreenBorough and Potluck House!
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Both are kind of gross if you think about them long enough. I’m keeping my cheese. By which I mean I would rather give up mouth sex.
Advice for the class of 2015: Revere your next four years as the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn and grow that they are. Play the game but break the mold. Dabble and seek out diversity of thought—the minority Republicans and religious folk on campus are not only passionate, but extremely intelligent. Work study jobs are minimum wage distractions. Get an idea of where you want to be in 20 years, then work backward and figure out your path. Have some close friends who have different personalities or values and don’t like each other for genuine perspective. Be the gadfly in Contemporary Civilizations.
Any regrets? A few. Not realizing math was actually important until after I’d given up on it. Spending more time chasing girls, albeit amazing ones, than becoming your friend. Assuming COÖP was worth skipping. Other than that, I’m down for the eternal recurrence.