A Very Special Facebook Update from the Terrible 12s

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While most of you are probably relieved to have exited Columbia’s campus, free of Butler and Lerner for an entire summer, there’s an entire generation of earnest young people who just can’t wait for August. They were born in 1990, their SATs were probably out of 48,000, and we’re calling them the Terrible 12s.

Every now and then Bwog likes to take a look at their Facebook activities, and oh what a bevy of activity there’s been! A certain hyper-social member of the the Columbia – Class of 2012 group who calls himself “Stephan” has already volunteered his Carman room for a party the first night of Orientation, giving ResLife nearly three months to prepare for the task of breaking up the party.

Within another group, this one dedicated to the good folk of Carman, “Stephan”, who Bwog can only hope is an English major, again advertises his fete by announcing: “we r throwin da sickest party to get the year started rite…. Carman the sexyest dorm house ever…. we’re goin show these other dorms who runs shit…”

Other burning questions amongst the Terrible 12s on the “2012” group include marijuana (answer, according to one: “DO IT, DUH.”) and the virtues of their own individuality (“I beat all the varsity girls [but a couple] on the crew team on my erg score [rowing machines, for those who aren’t familiar with ergs] my freshman year.”)

Looking forward to meeting you, 12s! See you at Stephan’s party.

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  1. yeah

    i beat my dick with an erg machine freshman year

  2. um...

    beating varsity girls with your freshman erg score is not really impressive at all...more like expected.

    oh, and a piece of advice to all incoming freshmen: there are probably a bunch of cool kids in your class, but anyone who offers to throw a party that early in the summer is a tool. just warning you.

  3. wow

    I think this guy Stephan is a character that someone made up. He cannot be a real person. Look at some of the things he writes on peoples walls. and his pictures

  4. eek

    where is the heroin topic?

  5. ...  

    1990... i remember the year well... it was the year that hurricane lawnbirdia made landfall at lego lake, forever transforming the once tranquil lives of it's inhabitants, many of which whose bodies were never successfully recovered.

    it was a sad, sad year...

  6. anonymous  

    looks like he and all the other homosexicles on this campus will be having a blast the first night of NSOP...

  7. Anonymous

    It is worth noting that the dorm assignments that were published turned out to be wrong, so the party will almost certainly not take place CAR 1114A-2.

    Also, please don't judge us by our Facebook selves. A thread that poses the question "What made you stand out that gave you 'the right' to be accepted to such an institution?" is bound to bring out the worst in people.

  8. John Wilcox

    smoke every day

  9. Stephan  

    "See you at Stephan's party."??!?
    Bwog ain't invited to my Party! Shiii. I bet none'yall ever even lived in Carman. Class of '12 out!


  10. I think

    this was a great post. But I remember the post on the 11s(or was it earlier this year with the same 12s?) last year, and I remember their facebook antics as being superior in hilarity. Step it up 12s. I seem to be remember a facebook group entitled "Class of 2011 works hard but parties harder". Does that jewel still exist?

  11. yah huh

    This bores me. I can find idiots at Columbia without bwog's help.

  12. Brilliant

    Some of Stephan's favorite literature?

    "any/all of Gabriel Garcia Marcus' books."

    I never cared much for his writing. I'm a much bigger fan of Isabel Ayennde and Jorge Louis Borhayes.

  13. every year

    takes away a little of the dignity that came with my CU degree.
    Some of the posts make my testicles grow arms and climb back into my body.

  14. even worse

    Whatever. As far as i'm concerned we're all columbia university students, we just chose our respective colleges based on preference.

  15. quote attribution

    barnard girl, of course.

  16. ...

    this is a rip from an ivygate article a month ago

  17. For the record...

    some of us were actually born in 1989, you know.

  18. Cristen S-K

    Thanks, I just put it on my Outlook. See you all then and enjoy your summers!

  19. 2012er

    as a member of the class of 2012, i can attest to seeing Stephan in person at Days on Campus. Let me assure you, he is real, frighteningly real.

  20. not so terrible 12

    as another member of the class of 2012, i'd also like to say not all of us are like this

  21. yes

    stephan is in fact real. he graduated with my cousin and he won the bill gates scholarship. he's actually really nice. and this sounds like him.

    • Stephan

      Hey I appreciate the positivity on your behalf. May I ask who your cousin is?

      I find it humorous how most of these people act like they know me well enough to judge me based on a random facebook posting. All these criticisms and shots taken at me aren't going to do anymore then simply amuse me; it's going to take more then an uproar caused by a BWOG article to tear me apart. But kudos to all for trying

  22. aha!

    now THAT is interesting.
    and it checks out with his UNI.

  23. History repeats

    stephan is the new JHN II

  24. '11

    Stephan is the new Tania/Vesal/annoying 2011er

  25. brensal

    I'm a 2012er and this article made me laugh. hard.
    I applied to Columbia with the hope that the dumbass concentration would be lower than that of my high school, but perhaps that is not the case. Though it's good to know that there are people to make fun of everywhere.
    I need to go plan my outfit for Stephan's party, later. =)

  26. '12

    I would have to say that, if anything, facebook let's you figure out who to steer clear of when you first get to campus.

  27. Anonymous

    I love everyone.

  28. pondo

    oh, this is just a mess of crazy.

    That class of 2012's internet antics can be seen across the far-flung reaches of the internet probably blows their minds.

    they never dreamed that they would be thrown to the light blue lions before August. Those last sweet months of enthusism are lost!

  29. Jasmine

    I'm disappointed in the "elder" Columbians who posted this article and have responded to it in negative ways. People did not choose this school to be harassed, ridiculed, and made to feel inferior because someone is so arrogant and apparently, perfect, that they feel that they have the right to judge others.

    Congratulations. YOU have just made yourself look like an ostentatious asshole.

    • Nahh...  

      they just haven't had time to have their hopes and dreams crushed yet.

      Give 'em time.

      Hey 2012, here's a tip - don't give Columbia your real SS. They might accidentally post it on the interwebs for months before telling you about it.

    • '11

      Dear Jasmine,

      You clearly haven't been here yet. If you don't want to be ridiculed, don't use "ostentatious" in a bwog post. Moreover, if you don't want to be ridiculed, don't go to Columbia.

      And I'm not sure that this is better than the post on the 2011 class. It was certainly a jewel.

      And as long as this Stephan fellow doesn't write multiple Spec columns that smack of arrogance or create ten new facebook albums a week about his various drunken exploits, he shall never become a Vesal/Tania type.

  30. ....

    so how about we start naming those annoying '12ers (anonymous '12ers invited)?

  31. oldie

    to post #39 -- that's HILARIOUS
    altho he probs won't be a rich coke head if he's a gates scholar -- more like someone who'll end up being a moocher

    but wow 1990? shit i'm old (slash just graduated and miss CU so much! haha)




  33. '11 student

    As part of the '11 class, which was so roundly mocked in the Bwog, I feel like I can appreciate this post. Bwog = caustic, get used to it. Every incoming freshman class is going to be ribbed and ridiculed as such, and when your time comes, you can do the ribbing and ridiculing. Welcome to the Columbia pecking order.

  34. 2012

    Thought I'd add some favorite quotes from my future classmates at Barnard:

    Yasmin Amir (Columbia) replied to Dina's post
    on Jun 29, 2008 at 10:46 AM
    Dina, you + me + alcohol = first night of orientation

    Liza Darvin (Columbia) wrote
    on Jul 3, 2008 at 7:06 PM
    can i just say that barnard is like INSANELY strict? dry dorms? ugh puh-lease!!! it feels like we're joing a nunnery or something....

    anyways, i am totally down for partying anytime with u wonderful ladies!!! i just don't know how im going to make room for all the other things i want to do... hopefully i can take one night off to see equus or the daily show!

    Colette McIntyre (Columbia) wrote
    on Jun 30, 2008 at 5:11 PM
    fuck yeah i'm all about the party.
    dance parties in my dorm...all the time. 24/7
    i'm actually using some of scholarship money from school to buy myself a beautiful fake id from a kid in my town..which i consider a total must have.

    24/7 dance parties, dry dorms, scholarship-funded fake id, and equus? fuck yeah, bitches!

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