Name, School: Derek Lipscomb, Columbia College
Claim to Fame: An All-American Captain rugby player on the team for the school. Known more for posing nude in Columbia Rugby’s ONLY calendar as Mr. September. (there may be a few still floating around. They’ll come back to haunt me when I’m 45)
Where are you going? I will be staying here in the city and teaching at The Buckley School on E 73rd. I’ll have little 2nd graders to teach and answer all their little questions and hear their speculations on where babies come from, how old is old (so far 17 is ancient to them…). I will also be playing rugby for Old Blue. Olympics 2016 in Rio anyone?
Three things you learned at Columbia:
The first thing I learned is to SEIZE THE FREE… This place is full of free functions, foods, and gifts for the lucky. There’s no way you shouldn’t have a free shirt by now- quit slackin. The 2nd would be that to do something impulsive once in awhile, you’ll look back and thank yourself later (except when posing nude…my dad’s rant on my voicemail remains classic). And 3rd, find a professor you like and LOVE them. Everyone’s going to need a solid recommendation at some point. Why not make it some really smart guy or gal that just wants to sing your praises and talk about you being smart also. When I say love..think Elmyra from Tiny Toon Adventures (yea, I went way back)
“Back in my day…” John Jay had trays and I could fit five plates of food, 2 cups of Lemonade, and sit my fat ass down and slowly clog my arteries. Now I have to exercise and walk through the lines again if I want 3rds or 4ths… “Thought this was ‘Merica!”
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: From an inner-city school in Cincinnati, I know some chances only come once in a lifetime. Trust yourself in your leap(s) of faith, sometimes, you’re all you got.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? I am about to teach 2nd graders math and science! How fun was your 2nd grade year? If you dont remember it, it wasn’t fun enough…or something may have been wrong with your hippocampus..but that’s your problem. To answer the question..NO. And I’m WINNING…DUHHHHH…. Any stories? Hmm… I’d say Eleanor Shi (CC’11) is a catalyst to almost every one of the stories I have in mind. But I feel like my 8 semesters here could have been a movie… Albeit straight-to-dvd but it’d give Robert Ri’chard (Cousin Skeeter’s Cousin) some work…
Would you give up oral sex or cheese? Three words: Bacon Double Cheeseburger…. you tell ME if you can give that up. If you say yes, you’re a whore. (LAWLZ JK)
Advice for Class of 2015: My advice to you is to get involved in something IMMEDIATELY. Outside of class that is. The friends and networking possibilities are endless. Plus the places you will go and sights you will see are amazing. Don’t spend all your time running through the dorms. Get off campus and learn your way around the city early. Socialize outside of your immediate friend zone more often. Talk to people you have nothing in common with; get to know a life that has nothing to do with your own. And take a deep breath once in awhile, you are on one of the greatest campuses this country will ever have, immerse yourself in it.
Regrets? That I didn’t meet recent grad Ruqayyah Abdul-Karim CC’10 sooner, that we didn’t make another rugby calendar, that I didn’t touch Snoop Dogg’s face when I had the chance (damn 8’10 bodyguard), that I didn’t socialize with my professors in their office hours more (do it if you haven’t started already). Also, my biggest regret is that I spent $15 at Five Guys… for those that know me, the net amount of Gummi Bears and Jujubes lost is unfathomable..
Hope you guys enjoyed and good luck with your time here!
Attn to all the English majors and other grammar nazis: I know some of these sentences are not actually proper English, however, if you feel the dire need to correct my statements, (you’re all you got to you’re all you have) feel free. Whatever makes you feel smarter; and chances are, if you are wasting your time on this, those chances don’t come often enough, Enjoy! :D