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SIPA Seeking Ninja, B.Y.O.RollerBlades.

If you’re one of those Columbians still sitting around in your ninja costume and roller blades, whining about how you can’t get a summer internship (or girlfriend, see: possession of ninja costume and rollerblades), whine no longer! Just head over to northeast campus and find the grad student who’s waiting patiently, tapping his ninja star against the thigh of his own costume. He will welcome you, as long as you have “experience handling fruit.” Note: That’s a euphemism. Ze’ev Gebler spotted the following cry for help in SIPA—coincidentally, it contains the exact same text as our profile:

Because nothing screams "legitimacy" like Magic Marker on a sheet of paper towel. Hung with re-used tape.

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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Two Words: Fruit Ninja

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Too bad there’s no contact info.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous A true ninja needs no contact information.

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous If you’re a real ninja, you’d know who to contact.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous That’s legit.

  • This is the guy you're looking for says:

    @This is the guy you're looking for

  • You should contact says:

    @You should contact Stephen K. Chan. Resident Ninja

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I love Stephen K. Chan! Best RA ever!

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous RAs suck. Paying students to turn in other students to the administration is exactly what they did in NAZI Germany and Soviet Russia.

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