Behold your dorm room. It’s—It’s—It’s—nice?? Don’t be too disappointed. You’ll stain it too and make it your own. (Fun fact: JJ11 has a tainted legacy. One past resident drunkenly shat on the floor.) Anywho, college may be your first time living on your own, so you probably have some questions. We’re here to help. In times of trouble, Bwog will be your proverbial Jewish Granny, feeding you sage wisdom and literally telling you where to find free food. Inquisitive freshpeople, send your questions to

Dear Bwog,

How should I configure my John Jay room to maximize space and look purdy?

Befuddled in the Bedroom

Dear Befuddled,

Your new JJ pad presents two options. First, you could position your bed against the window. This will open up your room, making it seem less like a narrow cell. However, you will lose about a foot of space. John Jay rooms have these awkward protruding corners that prevent the bed from lying flush against the back wall. But, this newly created gap between the window and your bed is not completely useless: it accommodates a narrow nightstand.

Another option is to arrange your bed against the right or left wall. Don’t put your bed under wall with shelves. “But I won’t hit my head,” you say. “And it’s partially hidden behind the closet diminishing the visual weight of the bed itself”…or maybe you don’t say that. The point is if you’re lucky enough to have someone else in your bed, he/ she will hit his/her head. So for the good of your one-night stand, don’t put your bed against the wall with shelves.

Go configure your crib!