On Tuesday, Bwog sat down with Bob Vulfov, CC ’13, and Eli Grober, CC ’13, to talk about comedy, blowjobs, and their new show “Just F*cking Laugh At Me!” Here’s an (abridged) transcript of our conversation.

Bwog: So why did you decide to write the show?

Bob: We wrote the show because we wanted to figure out why we’re doing stand-up comedy.

Eli: I don’t know if we actually figured that out, but it’s a good show.

Bob: It’s a bit crude at times, so if you’re offended by language obviously it’s not going to be your cup of tea, but it also has equal doses of sweetness. So it’s like a very, very, shitty “Book of Mormon” in that sense.

Eli: But there’s no music.

Bob: Yeah, there’s no music, but hopefully people will be able to embrace the vulgarity and crudeness because the overlying message is really sweet and nice. This is our first time writing together.

Eli: We work together a lot, and we’ve written jokes and improv together, but this was the first [longer piece] and it was a lot of fun! We hope people enjoy it. We enjoy it.

Bob: We have some awesome people!

Eli: Evan Johnston and Michael Abraham. The parts we got to write for these guys was…

Bob: A privilege! They’re incredible! It’s unfair how funny those two are. If anything, you should come to see them.

Bwog: Who helped you with the show?

Bob: Our director’s fucking [amazing!]

Eli: Our director Matt Star, he’s absolutely incredible.

Bob: We were absolutely screwed, but the man knows how to work a story!

Eli: And he knows how to work two assholes with such egos.

Bob: He’s like Phil Jackson. If I’ll be Shaquille O’Neal in this metaphor….

Eli: And I’ll be on the bench.

Bob: Eli will be early-2000s Kobe Bryant.

Eli: Picture that.

Bob: He really kept us in very good focus.

Eli: And our producer, Martin Willner.

Bob: He’s very handsome.

Eli: Very handsome.

Bob: Sean Walsh is our art director.

Eli: The set looks so dirty and wonderful, just like we wanted.

Bwog: What’s the set?

Bob: The set is a dingy apartment that the characters share. And the rest of the play takes place in different comedy clubs.

Eli: But that’s all done with lighting.

Bob: Ben Harris came in last night, our tech director, and we were worried about the lighting transitions, and Ben harris was just flipping lights and it was amazing. Every hesitation went away.

Eli: And CUPAL let us do this, so obviously we thank them.

Bob: They will regret it.

Bwog: Anyone else to endorse?

Eli: We’d like to endorse ourselves. We have a show on November 11th.

Bob: We also did a fundraising show for this at the Village Pourhouse.

Bwog: Didn’t you have mystery headliners?

Bob: This guy Joe Vecsey, he’s one of our best-known friends in the New York comedy scene. He got us this awesome guy named Sergio Chicon. And then our other friend, Gary Vider, who’s also a big player in the New York comedy scene, he got us Jay Oakerson, who’s had a couple of Comedy Central specials and he’s on this show on IFC called Z-Rock.

Eli: He’s really on the rise. He does like four shows a night.

Bob: Our show ended at 10:20 pm, and he did four shows later that night.

Eli: And he was amazing. He just killed it!

Bwog: Any other upcoming shows?

Bob: On November 11th, we’ll be doing a Fruit Paunch show in Furnald lounge, as we do.

Eli: Control Top will be opening.

Bob: Yes, and then there will be the second coming of Improvapalooza [a combined show with Fruit Paunch, Control Top, Alfred, and probably a special guest]

Bwog: What about after Columbia? Are you guys hoping to stay in New York and do comedy in the city?

Eli: New York is…

Bob: It’s a wench.

Bwog: A wench?

Bob: A heartless wench is what it is.

Eli: We want to live in comedy.

Bwog: You mean L.A.?

Eli: All these places and these things, I don’t know.

Bob: There’s always this path that comedians talk about. Everyone wants to start out in New York, or Boston, or Chicago, and then eventually go to LA. And then once you’re famous, you can go back to New York and make a living.

Eli: And then once you’re more famous, you can get away with killing people.

Bob: And affording rent.

Eli: Yes, those two main things.

Bwog: In that order?

Eli: Sure, but I misspoke. I meant killing people with kindness.

Bwog: Can you pay rent with kindness?

Bob: You can pay rent with blowjobs, Bwog.

Bwog: That’s a kind of kindness.

Bob: No, Eli gives angry blowjobs.

Eli: With my teeth.

Bob (impersonating Eli giving a blowjob): “ARGH WHY DO THE JETS KEEP LOSING?!”

Eli: We want to write, perform comedy, stuff like that, but we have no idea what that will entail in a year when we hopefully, cross my fingers, graduate.

“Just F*cking Laugh At Me” will be performed Wednesday and Thursday night at 9 pm. Free Tickets are available from the TIC and online and there will be a non-guaranteed waitlist.