The good news: it’s Tuesday; this semester’s finals will cease to be your concern within the next 72 hours. The bad news: your sleep cycles, thesis title, life, and hair are all totally a mess. But wait—more good news! We’re inviting you to join us in our (very exclusive) bed for a few short minutes as we give you a rundown of everything you’ve missed, from Franco drama to the complex and weighty musings of a bro with a bagel. 

Please don't laugh at our bed head!

Bwogline: The Telegraph reports that “former Columbia professor” Jose Angel Santana is suing the University for his job back—Santana claims that he was fired for giving James Franco a “D.” It’s also been reported that he was actually an NYU Professor; the details are hazier than James Franco at the end of 127 hours. In other news, the rest of us are still blindly hoping for our own grade inflation. (Telegraph, NYPost)

Finals tip: Nothing says “studious” in a 9 am final section quite like a FourLoko mustache. Wink coquettishly at the proctor and mouth, “it’s natural” for best results.

Check out our tweets filed under #FinalsTips for more advice.

Stressbustyourself: Whether it’s a friend or a professional, getting support can do wonders to help you through a stressful time. Take a look at the Stressbusters Support Network for ideas to help you cope with stress.

Overheard: A bro outside of Nussbaum, who surely has many leather-bound books and a Butler study nook that smells of rich mahogany:

“I’m planning to make up for my bad grades with my good looks and witty banter.”

Style suggestion via Wikimedia Commons.