#bwog in bed
Bwog in Bed: Go Home Already
So long, dining hall food!

So long, dining hall food!

A moment of silence for anyone who is still on campus right now. Your struggle is real.

Bwogline: In case you’ve been living under a rock (which you have, because finals) Beyoncé has sold a lot of albums in the past week.

Finals Tip: Wait until you are safely tucked away in your loud, cramped economy class seat on a Spirit Airlines plane to remember that you missed an entire short answer question on your last final. Then shrug and go to sleep because finals are over and you can’t find a single fuck to give.

Procrastinate: Because Bwog isn’t above marathoning a show that got canceled four episodes in.

Overheard: 

Somewhere on campus: 

”I’m contemplating whether next semester I want to have more sex to get more practice or to really find someone meaningful.”

Well, congratulations on having options. Keep it down.

Bwog In Bed: You’re Probably Already Home But We’re Still Here So Shhh
YES

Spotted. A world full of snow heroes in today’s Bwog in Bed.

We don’t give a shit if you’re already home and playing with your cat. At least one Bwogger still has 2 exams and a paper left as of this morning, so put up with us for our penultimate Bwog in Bed of 2013.

Bwogline: Rich Ellerson was fired as West Point’s football coach after going 3-9 for the season—and, notably, losing to Navy consecutively in his time as coach. We don’t think that record is that bad…

Finals tip: Dress great, never sleep, CU does it well.

Procrastinate: Learn something.

Overseen: He did it after all.

a true hero

God bless you, and god bless America

 

Bwog In Bed: Hold On, We’re Going Home Edition

The end is nigh, folks.  In just over 24 hours you’ll either be enjoying one of the most amazing cities in the world (something you’ve probably existed since about mid-November) or you’ll be on a plane/train/car/foot?/vehicle back to wherever it is that you go when you’re not here.  So crawl back in bed with us, we promise it’ll only happen once more, and take a breather.  Hold on, we’re going home.

Bwogline: Ronnie Biggs, some train robber dude, has just passed away.  On the one hand, that’s one less thing you have to worry about, but on the other… what cool dude! (NYT)

Finals tip: It’s winter time. Eat some carbs, fat, and sugar to put on that extra layer of warmth!  Feeling a little less cold will help you wake up for you 9:00 am final tomorrow.

Procrastinate: These are some super dope photos taken from Google Street View.  Prepare to feel stunned.

Overheard:

A first-year (awwwww)  in 209: “Butler is like the 1020 of finals week! I just saw a guy to try to pick up a girl over there…”

And on that note, has anyone been looking at Columbia Admirers lately? Of course you have. “The thirst is real,” guys.

Drake:
Pitchfork called it song of the year!

Bwog in Bed: In Brief

Bwogline: A federal judge ruled that the NSA’s metadata collection violates the Fourth Amendment.

Finals tip: Ask a more devoted student in your class that you sort of know to borrow her notes.

Procrastinate: Engage in serious intellectual discourse, for a change.

Overseen:

Bwog in Bed: The Beginning of the End

Whether today is your ticket to freedom or the beginning of a new wave of finals, Bwog invites you to hop in bed with us for a few minutes before you start your Monday. Oh, you thought we meant that in a sexual way? Get your mind out of the gutter. This is about cuddling and being lazy, dammit.

Update: CUIT informs us that Courseworks is back up, and has been since 10 a.m.

Breaking: Courseworks is down, as are many things CUIT related, because the authentication servers aren’t working. That means no printing, secure Wi-Fi, or anything using your password. Good luck to you all.

Bwogline: Bwog contemplates what it would be like to kiss Jennifer Lawrence with perhaps the most glorious but useless piece of information ever. (Yahoo)

Finals tip: Tattoo important quotations onto your skin. This way, you’ll never be caught off guard on an IDs section.

Procrastinate: If you’re feeling sorry for yourself, just be glad you’re not caught in the middle of a goose tsunami. Yes, your read that right. A GOOSE TSUNAMI.

Overseen:

The church on 114th takes its Christmas pageantry very seriously.

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Bwog In Bed: The Last Lazy Sunday
We're regressing

We’re regressing

After last night’s “snowstorm” revelries, we invite you all to crawl into bed with us for a few more minutes on this last lazy Sunday of the year. You’re so close to the end of finals you can taste it. There’s still studying and essay writing to be done, but that can all wait for just a bit. We’ve got plenty of pillows.

Bwogline: Had a missed connection in the snow this week? (NYT)

Finals tip: Don’t actually sleep—just check your watch and keep taking 5-hour energies until your last final is over.

Procrastinate: Guide these sheep home. Yes, the sheep are a metaphor for you.

Overheard:

Two rather loud girls in the stacks:
Girl 1: You know people here have sex in the stacks? It’s, like, an thing.
Girl 2: Really?? Ew.
Girl 1: Yeah, like that’s ALL people do in here.
Tipster (in head): Actually some of us study, too.

How you feel via Wikimedia

Bwog in Bed: A Quick Breather
We just want it to be break, too.

We just want it to be break, too.

You have a whole weekend to study and that should be plenty, right? You’re going to ace that Monday test because you’re starting to study now, right? Right?!

Bwogline: Bad things happen in Colorado. (CNN)

Finals Tip: You don’t actually have to study as long as you look the part. Wear sweatpants/yoga pants/baseball hats/shapeless clothing. As long as you look miserable, you will do well.

Procrastinate: Make-a-Flake.

Overheard: 

A girl was sitting in the hallway talking on her cell phone on the 4th floor of Butler:

“Dad, a ceiling almost fell on a girl a few weeks ago. Yeah. This place needs to be burned to the ground already.”

Counting down the days via Shutterstock

Bwog In Bed: Sup, Underclassmen?

Shout out to all of you taking Lit Hum and CC tests today.  Good luck!  You can do it.

Bwogline: Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce. (iTunes, LATimes, YouTube, BuzzFeed, Beyonce, True Love all to the tune of Versace)

Finals Tip: If it’s consumed in the library/within two hours of a final/out of a ramen cup, it has no calories.

Procrastinate: In case you’ve been trying to decide if B-School is worth your time and money (if you’re not gonna watch the whole thing, at least skip to 4:35 for some hate watching):

Overheard: On the walkie talkie of the guy cleaning Hamilton:

“The entire girl’s basketball team is sleeping in their locker room. What should I do?”

Bwog in Bed: Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Pretty, but so easy to lose!

Pretty, but so easy to lose!

Oh god, the first day of finals is tomorrow. That’s terrifying. Hop in bed with Bwog for a minute and let us take your mind off the inexorable march of time.

Bwogline:  Getting ready to wake up for that 9 am final tomorrow?  Good luck. (The New Yorker)

Finals Tip: Show up at least half an hour late to your exam, to show your professor you’re confident in your knowledge.

Procrastinate:  One of the best, most classic browser games of all time.

Overheard:

From outside a tipsters window:

“I don’t give a flying fuck! Where are my heels!?” Inaudible screaming continued.
Ah, life in the Barnard quad.
Heels via Shutterstock
Bwog in Bed: First Day of Reading Week (Take 2)
We all know what "finals" are code for.

We all know what “finals” are code for.

Even though yesterday was the first day of reading week (reading group of day[s]?) we know you didn’t actually study. So we will officially take 2, and call this the first day of reading week. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Bwogline: Here’s a  thought-provoking article outlining all of Spec’s best articles from 2013.  Written by Spec of course. (Spec) (SPEC!)

Finals Tip: If you find yourself saying “I need a drink” you really need two.

Procrastinate: Play Find the Invisible Cow. In Butler. With the volume on high.     You will thank us.

Overheard: As pulled from the Saint A’s (possibly trolled?) twitter account:

“It’s days like these I am thankful for the sauna in my basement and the jacuzzi on my roof.”

Your sinking grades via ShutterStock

Bwog in Bed: Snow Day!
why don't they just repave in front of butler

Sure the snow is pretty now but this is what the trek to Butler will feel like tomorrow.

It’s officially finals time which means for the next ~2 weeks we’ll be forgoing Bwoglines in favor of spending a few minutes in bed with you. The weather outside is pretty frightful, which is totally an excuse to not leave your room for the rest of the day. Oh and go ahead and tip more snow pictures and finals feels to tips@bwog.com

Bwogline: Todays Bwogline helps you out with studying too (shh): apparently Machiavelli matters enough to have op-eds written about him. How nice.

Finals Tip: Right before taking the final, the question is not “do I have enough time to go through my flash cards again.” It is “do I have enough time to put on my bright lipstick?”

Procrastinate: It is almost impossible to tell the difference between the names for Ikea furniture and names for death metal bands. So quiz yourself.

Overheard: Who actually studies on the first night of reading week? No one, that’s who. Overheard yesterday,

“But like how am I not supposed to go out tonight?”

Intense Ice Climbing via ShutterStock

Bwog in Bed: The End is Nigh (in a good way)
Sick 'em

Sick ‘em

It’s Thursday. We’re on the homestretch, we’re almost there! Take a minute to join Bwog in bed for a quick mind-cuddle. For more Bwog-love, send your overheards, questions and poetry to tips@bwog.com

Bwogline: Ivy League? More like the Crime-y League. White-only scholarships, under-reported sex crimes, freshman arrested for aggravated sexual assault? Summer can’t come quickly enough.

Procrastinate: Try to figure out where on earth you are! Or take a look at what it’s like in space, courtesy of InterStellar Sex God Chris Hadfield.

Finals Tip: Instead of studying, work on perfecting your dog whistle. Whip it out in the middle of your exam. Dogs through the windows, dogs through the floors, dogs swirling around the desks and dogs chewing on your T.A.’s leg. Your  exam will be completely forgotten.

Overheard:

Two disillusioned students by Wallach: Lit Hum is so pointless. When was the last time you opened the classified section and it said, ‘Sing, customer, of the shoes that the baby bought and the happiness that they brought unto the entire family.’ or ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that baby shoes are cheaper at Target.’

Pooches via Shutterstock

Bwog in Bed: Sex & Relationships

Can you imagine what Bwog had to go through to find this

Bwoglines: Although there probably is serious news, Bwog still cares about Jennifer Aniston. In totally unrelated news, the new Daft Punk album, Random Access Memories, leaked yesterday, but if you really love Daft Punk you already have it.

Finals Tip: Have sex instead of studying for finals. According to the ever-reliable WebMD, it cures everything but cancer, as if you need a reason. Also this is the last time you will get to have sex without your parents your dog getting in the way.

Procrastinate: On the subject of things that crush your nuts, here is a machine that liquidizes everything. On a separate but related note, here is a stable link to a page of horse puns.

Overheard At JJs, obviously:

“Man, girls just do that sometimes. They point things out like it’s nothing. Guys are more insecure than they think.”

Oof.

Wtf is all this astroturf via Shutterstock

Bwog In Bed: Primal Scream ft. Pitbull
butler<3

RIP

Bwoglines: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT FROZEN BANANA STAND IN REAL LIFE. Today, from 11 am- 6 pm, across from radio city music hall. Some of the cast may make an appearance. Drop everything you are doing and go. And don’t forget to leave a note. (Gothamist)

Finals tip: tip about finals.

Procrastinate: so meta. (Wikipedia)

Last night’s primal scream. (Youtube)

 

 

Souls allowed in spill-proof beverage containers only via a lovely tipster

Bwog in Bed: Sunday Slump

Bwoglines: Ever wonder what it would be like to live in a giant dollhouse? Neither have we but too bad. (Yahoo)

Finals Tip: Practice self control.

Procrastinate: Relive childhood memories (with the added benefit of zombies) and watch as Ryan Gosling won’t eat cereal. (Organ Trail, Buzzfeed)

Overseen: Look on the bright side!

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