bwog in bed Archive

May

4

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wow u really don't know physics

wow u really don’t know physics

It’s Day 2 of Reading Week! We know you probably don’t believe in yourself but that’s okay, because we have enough faith in you to power Butler for an entire week. Get out of bed, go to that study group, write 6 pages of your paper, and smash that mf final! Alternatively, listen to mopey songs right before you go to bed and never get back the Lit Hum books you loaned out to friends.

Bwogline: R.I.P. to the presidential candidacy of Ted Cruz, murdered by Donald Trump’s electoral prowess—it was a blast, full of great memes, awkward handshakes, and flashbacks to our former roommates. Don’t go! Is something we would have cried out if we liked you. (CNN)

Study Tip: Make a detailed list of all the things you’re going to get done today, and in what order you’ll do them. Actually write it out. Be overambitious so when you inevitably fall short, you’re not that far behind. Physical list-making is one way to keep on top of all your responsibilities and stay motivated, and nothing feels better than crossing off an item from a list! Don’t forget to castigate yourself if you catch yourself watching another episode of Silicon Valley. 

Procrastinate: Make sure you’ve uploaded all of your financial aid documents for next year! The deadline is May 5. On a less practical note, name yourself “Obamacare” or “The Donald” and get to swallowing up others of your kind in an attempt to be the biggest and best there ever was—it’s a microcosm of Columbia.

Music: Feeling alone and unlovable, young and defiant, or pining for that NoCo cutie? If it’s not that late yet, listen to this Bollywood crowd-pleaser to get pumped up for your 15 page Anthropology term paper (put on autoplay to end up in places you would never expect).

Overseen: A couple furiously making out in front of us at Butler, and a disgusted international student walking out in response. Butler is not for love!!

May

3

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Ah yes we love art just like V Show does.

Ah yes we love art just like V Show does.

It’s finally finals season, a time of reckoning, a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance, a time to—well, you get the idea. It’s not great, by any means, and if you’re anything like us, each of your six professors expects 30% of your total time and effort. Now, we’re not mathematics majors, but that just doesn’t seem to numerically work out. Regardless, Bwog in Bed is back to provide you with some form of (temporary) relief. 

Bwogline: Protestors, mostly peaceful, gave two choices to the Iraqi parliament: reform or face annihilation. The protestors, who support the reform agenda of Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi, left the Green Zone Baghdadi citadel on Sunday, threatening to return if their demands were not met. Who knows if the sectarian divisions incorporated into Iraqi government will be able to reconcile with this turn in events. (NYT)

Study Tip: Finals is really a tough time. Now, we don’t encourage an excess of physically negative behaviors, but spend theses one or two weeks focusing on what makes you comfortable and prepares you best emotionally, mentally, and intellectually for these upcoming exams. Taking a coffee or cigarette break should be just that, a break from stress and worry. And that’s okay! In moderation, nobody will think the less of you.

Procrastinate: Was it even a question of what we were going to suggest first? Two words. Invisible. Cows.

Overheard: “The biggest problem at this school is that nobody knows how to walk.”

Overseen: V Show crew did something (seen above) last night. And we even wrote about it, too!

Leaning statue of V Show via Bwog Staff

Dec

23

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It’s (technically) the last day of finals, but we’re hoping your professors moved your finals that were supposed to be today to some time last week. Most of Bwog is home by now, and we’re using this winter vacation to relax, recharge, and return to school feeling like we’re “on a new level” (or something).

Bwogline: If you haven’t already heard, a study reports that high levels of lead have been found in children’s blood in Flint, Michigan due to lead-tainted drinking water. (CBS News)

Study Tip: Have you seen all those snap stories of the sunrise from the Butler roof and been jealous? (Don’t be–we really believe all-nighters to be unnecessary). Take a much-needed study break, though, by visiting one of the roofs on campus, such as that of Butler, Havemeyer, or Mudd (but don’t get caught!).

Procrastinate: Still have to finish that final paper? At least pretend that you’re doing work with this game that is supposed to look like a Word document.

Dec

22

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An accurate rendering of the inside of our brains during finals

An accurate rendering of the inside of our brains during finals

Finals are almost over. Your ability to sit in a library for hours on end is running low. You’re starting to wonder if this is really your life, or some kind of hellish vision that your brain concocted during your freshman year of high school and has been punishing you with ever since. But don’t despair – as much as life right now might seem terrible, the end is in sight. Don’t resort to skipping town just yet.

Bwogline: New York City has recently passed new guidelines against gender-identity discrimination, including general bans on discrimination in housing and hiring as well as more specific rules about dress codes, bathrooms, and pronoun use. For NYC’s 25,000 trans and gender-nonconforming residents, this news might seem almost too good to be true – our city is really making a big step forward. (Miami Herald)

Study tip: Study in intervals – plan out not just when you’ll take breaks, but how much you’ll achieve in between those breaks. That way, your breaks will feel more deserved. And when you do break, consider doing something creative, like doodling, making origami out of your notes, or writing a haiku about what you’ll do once you get out of your final. Taking a creative break will help you return to your work with renewed focus.

Procrastinate: Remember those fun “educational” online games you used to play as a kid before you discovered social media? Well, they’re still around, and they’re still a great way to distract yourself from your responsibilities. Bwog recommends the Funbrain Arcade – in one of the games, you can shoot penguins out of the sky with snowballs. What could be more satisfying than that?

Music: Nothing gets us fired up like Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s the classic inspirational song, complete with raging guitar melodies and lyrics about murder. Just be careful that you don’t start singing along passionately in the middle of Butler. (And then, maybe listen to We Will Rock You or Another One Bites the Dust.)

Overheard: “I’m wearing a low cut shirt, so if the final doesn’t work out, maybe I can fuck my professor instead.”

Quickly advancing doom via Shutterstock; Overheard via Overheard @ Barnard

Dec

21

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The picture of perseverance

Bwog wants YOU to believe in yourself!

Yes, we know, it’s Monday. And not just any Monday – the Monday of finals week. To get through this trying time, you’re going to need courage, perseverance, and the kind of ridiculously positive attitude that will make all the cartoon villains resent you. Unfortunately, Bwog can’t give you an epic training montage, but we can at least provide a few tips.

Bwogline: The cast for “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child,” the sequel stage production opening in London next summer, now has three important members: Jamie Parker as Harry Potter, Paul Thornley as Ron Weasley, and Noma Dumezweni as Hermione Granger. Dumezweni, an actress of South African heritage, bears little resemblance to Emma Watson, but we’re certain she’ll kick ass as the brightest witch of her age anyway. (The Guardian)

Study tip: Every so often, get up! Stretch! Get your blood pumping! Shout a warcry! (Either out loud or in your head, depending on where you’re studying.) Pretend you’re about to go into battle, or that you just drank a triple espresso. Whatever works.

Procrastinate: If you like humor, art, or neither, you’ll probably enjoy officialunitedstates. Advertised as “the most official bad text posts from the USA,” this blog features opinions on everything, from trains to Hilary Clinton to the insects Mars does not have. Its moderator is truly a hero of our time.

Music: Your favorite movie’s soundtrack. Whether it’s Star Wars, Mulan, or Pride & Prejudice, listening to the music from your favorite movie while you work will cause you to visualize the scenes from that movie, which in turn will motivate you more than some arbitrary study playlist. (If your favorite movie’s soundtrack is not quite up to par, Bwog recommends the tracks of Pacific Rim, How to Train Your Dragonand Mad Max: Fury Road.)

Overheard: “I thought I heard the primal scream happening earlier, but turns out that was just in my head.”

The next savior of planet Earth via Shutterstock

Dec

20

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img December 20, 201510:01 amimg 0 Comments

Fueling up for finals

Fueling up for finals

Oh, the beauties of Sunday morning. Whether you prefer Maroon 5 or Velvet Underground, there’s No Doubt about it: Sunday mornings are the best. Although, if you’re in the majority and still have more finals looming overhead, it probably doesn’t feel like the best morning. But you can do it! Only three more days (at most) before Winter Break officially commences. In order to make it through, you’re gonna have to get pumped. But don’t worry. Bwog is here to help.

Bwogline: Get pumped about pets! Really, really old pets! Archaeologists found the remains of captive carnivores – a puma, eagle, and wolf – in Teotihuacan, Mexico this week.This means the practice in antiquity of keeping captive carnivores for ritualistic purposes began almost 1000 years before we thought it did. Spanish conquistadors described Moctezuma’s zoo at the Aztec capital, but it turns out Moctezuma wasn’t the first to have a pet puma. (The Epoch Times)

Study tip: Stay away from the energy drinks, and stay hydrated with water instead. Try not to double your normal daily coffee intake, and avoid Monster/Red Bull if you can. Remember, taking 3 capsules of 5-hour Energy does not result in 15 hours of energy. Most likely, it means crashing into a wall – either figurative or literal. One Bwogger bought military gum off Amazon last week, and they can attest: not a good idea.

Procrastinate: Get some exercise! Mental activity is great and all, but physical activity is equally important in times of stress. Take your pick: Dodge fitness center? Rooftop yoga session? A run in Riv? Or even in Central Park? Lucky for you, climate change has ensured that you can still actually exercise outside. It’s barely started to feel like December recently, but maybe your Florida/Cali/etc. heart just can’t take this wind chill. So if worse comes to worst, and you can’t brave the cold, settle for Dodge. If you can manage to go outside, put those running shoes on, start jogging down Broadway, and don’t look back. True, you might miss your final, but it’ll be worth it.

Music: From the title, to the cover photo, to the description, to the track listing, this playlist is bound to help you succeed (or at least survive).

Overheard: (On Low Steps) “DJ Kahled is the only thing that has inspired me to keep going this week.” …Hope things get better for you soon, dude.

Bonus: Whether you’ve seen it already or not (and we hope you have by now) this video is sure to get you amped. Get ready for girl power at its finest.

Straight pumpin’ via Shutterstock

Dec

19

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img December 19, 201510:13 amimg 0 Comments

A grad student in the Law Library who has clearly accepted Hamilton as his lord and savior

Live footage of a grad student who has clearly just found the Hamilton soundtrack

We made it to the weekend! We’ve left the worst behind! Rejoice! Oh… what’s that? You still have your hardest final to go, and it’s on Monday? You poor soul. Well, don’t you fret – as usual, Bwog in Bed has your back. 

Bwogline: Finals week – what a time to hate America! A recent poll found that 30% of Republican primary voters and 19% of Democrats would support bombing Agrabah, the fictional city-state from Disney’s Aladdin. As one Twitter user puts it: “Of course we should bomb Agrabah. They cut off the hands of poor teenage boys who steal an apple.”

Study Tip: Coffee breaks! Blue Java is the go-to, but try to pick somewhere farther – you can use the walk there and back to clear your head before you get back into the thick of things. Instead of seeing coffee as a way to keep yourself awake, try to see it as a way to treat yourself. And if you end up going to Starbucks today, don’t forget to ask for a free ugly sweater sleeve!

Procrastinate: If DJ Khaled’s snapchat story is good enough for himself to use when he’s trying to procrastinate from jet-skiing his way back to safety, it’s clearly good enough for you to use when you’re trying to procrastinate from exam studying, too. This rotund and talented man spends his days teaching us all the keys to more success via the medium of Snapchat, and we’re so much better because of it. We can’t believe we’re saying this, but the DJ K snap seems to be the biggest cultural phenomenon since Hamilton (see below). Bless up. 

Music: How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence impoverished in squalor, turn out to be a hero and a scholar? If you haven’t heard of Hamilton up until now (and really, we’re wondering how this is possible on Columbia’s campus), you probably just know it as that thing Buzzfeed can’t seem to shut up about. If you have, you’re probably trying to refrain from screaming in Butler, or tearing up thinking about all the amazing things Lin-Manuel Miranda has done. Either way, this soundtrack is the ultimate tool for study motivation. Try “My Shot” or “Non-Stop” – we guarantee you’ll be writing twice as fast by the time you’re done. Just trust Hamilton to guide you to where you need to be.

Overheard: Very fitting – “I’m not prepared for my final but I have learned the entire soundtrack to Hamilton in less than a week so… that’s got to count for something.” (Courtesy of Overheard @ Barnard)

Your next TA via Shutterstock

Dec

17

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RoboRobo

The Droids in Star Wars are less creepy than this, but they don’t conduct anything

Tonight, you can see the most anticipated movie of the decade. “Can see” – but you won’t. Have a happy first day of finals.

Bwogline: Probably something important is happening in US politics, or world politics, but that’s not important – Star Wars is. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. You know what people love more than Star Wars? Money. And because of Star Wars, Disney is going to make a lot of money. $100 million already in presale tickets.

Study Tip: Avoid wasting time at the dining hall by living off only Soylent and Blue Java sushi.

Procrastinate: Pretend like you’re learning while wasting countless hours on Youtube by watching Numberphile’s excellent videos on various aspects of mathematics.

Overheard: “I tried so bad to get my dad to write me a prescription.” (Overheard on the sixth floor of Butler).

Conductor Bot via Wikimedia Commons

Dec

16

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img December 16, 20159:01 amimg 0 Comments

They may not be the Cattle of Helios, but try and find them when they're invisible.

They may not be the Cattle of Helios, but try and find them when they’re invisible.

Now that reading week has begun, we’re transitioning from Bwoglines to Bwog In Bed. Ironically, many of us have been spending reading week so far sleeping in Butler instead of our beds. Regardless, get pumped for a day of studying (and preparing for Orgo Night). 

Bwogline: The Federal Reserve is aiming to raise interest rates this week; many think the hike will happen today. Well, maybe it’s not a hike. But any student of Gulati’s econ class can tell you how much a 0.25% increase will alter the nation’s economy. (USAToday)

Study Tip: Don’t panic! Douglas Adams was entirely correct in writing this platitude. Regardless of how many finals loom over the horizon, papers sit unfinished in your Google drive, and projects remain piles of unused construction paper and glue, panicking will only make your life worse. Instead take a deep breath, drink an energy drink of your choice (if you need to), and get working!

Procrastinate: Invisible cows? Invisible cows.

Overheard: “I need to find where 209 is ’cause that’s where Orgo Night is”

MOOO via Shutterstock

May

10

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We hope that you took this weekend to rest up and re-charge your batteries to prepare for the final(s) push this week. Let your self sleep a little more this Sunday morning before strolling over to JJ for a hearty breakfast. Treat this Sunday like the true day of rest it is.

Bwogline: A State Rep in Texas thinks that we should legalize marijuana because apparently The Bible says it’s ok. (The Daily Beast)

Study Tip: Take a shower. We’re literally so sick of having to sit next to stinky people in Butler. Your stench is seriously fucking with our focus even when we’re on adderall. A five-minute shower really won’t throw off your study schedule, and your fellow Butler patrons will be thankful.

Procrastinate: Amy Schumer is doing everything television needs right now. Check out one of her latest sketches below to waste some time.

May

9

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img May 09, 20159:25 amimg 0 Comments

Grab a cup of coffee, sit up in bed, and relaxxxxxxxxx, because it’s finally Saturday. You have no responsibilities. No duties. No finals to think about. Just take today to chill.

Bwogline: The New York Times covered our most favorite night of controversy of the semester: Orgo Night. Think they enjoyed getting CUMBed on?

Study Tip: Take a lot of amphetamines. Drink a lot of coffee. Really just keep your mind active #AllDay.

Procrastination Tip: Start a new relationship the week before finals and summer vacation. That’s bound to distract you from the impending doom that is move-out day, right?

Now, how long you ball? How much time you spend at the mall?

Overheard: “Hillary Clinton is a Republican.”

May

8

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Orgo Night has happened. Midnight Breakfast has happened. Reading week has happened. Now, as the first round of exams kicks off today, make sure that studying and sleeping both happen for you this weekend. As always, though, you’ll have loyal and trusty Bwog in Bed to keep you focused on all the right things. 

Bwogline: One of New York’s more infamous baseball players, Alex Rodriguez, hit a homer to pass one of New York’s most famous and beloved players, Willie Mays, on the all-time home run leaderboard with 661. (NYT).

Study Tip: Everyone knows where they study best. But if you find yourself frustrated, exasperated or just freakin’ unproductive in your normal location, take the time to walk around, leave, find a new place to study. A secluded corner of campus or the shade of a tree in a park can provide a relaxing and even inspiring atmosphere for you to get back to the grind.

Procrastination Tip: Sleep. Seriously. Use the weekend to get the rest that you might have forsaken last week, or will forsake in the coming week. Not sleeping is depriving yourself of the time you need to refresh, remember what you did yesterday, and start a different day fresh. Give yourself the chance to look back on the day and say “I got something done,” then hit the hay.

And remember, when writing those essays, don’t worry about the Oxford Comma:

May

7

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Here it is: the day you’ve been waiting for. The day you said you’d get your shit together and thereby be ready to march into finals week like a victorious general of old. It isn’t gonna happen, but at least you have Bwog In Bed.

Bwogline: Columbia legend Sunil Gulati has made his way into the strangest New York Times article you’ll read today. Maybe it’s a sports reporter trying to write a trendy economics article or maybe there just isn’t a story here. (NYT)

Study Tip: Having trouble diving into dense reading? Try spending fifteen or twenty minutes reading a book you enjoy and then coming back to it; not only will you be primed to read, but you might also be in a better mood.

Procrastinate: Let the Internet read your mind. Once that’s run its course, amp up your frustration level.

Now, treat yourself to the latest Orgo Night promo:

May

6

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Still in bed, recovering from the various formals of the past couple of nights? Whether it was DG or Theta or Sig Chi or Beta (or none of them–we at Bwog have spent the last few nights at a booth at 1020), try to power through your hangover this morning and prepare a little for your impending exams.

Bwogline: U2 performed an impromptu concert Monday night on a subway platform in Grand Central Station. (iHeartRadio)

Study Tip: Feeling scattered and restless? Vacate your seat in Butler (for an hour or two, at least) and try going on a run in Riverside or hitting up a yoga class. Not only will exercise make you happier, but you’ll also feel more focused later on.

Procrastinate: Do you wish you were a piano prodigy, but you can’t even read music? Check this website out, and tap wildly at your laptop keyboard as if you actually knew what you were doing.

Dec

18

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img December 18, 20149:48 amimg 2 Comments

Bwog is still in bed, but won’t be for much longer. To those poor souls who won’t be out of finals until 10:00 tonight: we’ve stood by you as long as we can, but it’s time to pack up and go home. Maybe after just a few more moments under these warm covers… In the meantime, here’s your daily dose of finals news, study tips, and procrastination. 

Bwogline: If you fear you’ll never escape finals, take comfort in the story of American aid worker Alan Gross, whose release from Cuban prison represents the end of 53 years of diplomatic estrangement. Just hope you’re freedom won’t require intervention from President Obama and the pope. (New York Times)

Study Tip: Feeling down? Go for a run! Run and run and never look back! Collapse in a small town in the Midwest and take a job in the local quarry! Find confidence in your promotion to foreman and finally buy that engagement ring! Look at the family gathered around your hospital bed, generations brought together over Thanksgiving dinners and Fourth of July picnics (too many to possibly remember but too precious to forget, even now, as the years take their toll), and take pride in your life as you slip, content, into darkness! Or, if you don’t like street running, try the treadmills in Schapiro!

Procrastination: Enjoy comedian and alumna Jenny Slate, singing “Landslide” in the voice of her online persona, Marcel the Shell.

Overheard: In the Schapiro lounge

Guy to his friends: “I forgot how to spell exotic on my arthum exam today. I was like E-X-H-A-U-T-I-C.”
His friend: “Did you… choose a different word?”
Guy: “No I just went with it”

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