16 CommentsIf you’ve been cooped up in Butler for the past week like we have, you’ve probably forgotten how to use your voice/form words/engage with others. That’s okay. For your sake, and for that of the 2015ers, we’ll repost our comprehensive guide to Columbia’s loudest and most transient school tradition.
"O-face" optional.
Finals got you down? Then you can verbally vent your frustrations by participating in the Primal Scream. The guide for new students:
- If your clock or watch is not auto-synced to the NIST’s Cesium Fountain Atomic Clock (i.e. the Internet), make sure you’ve set it correctly. When in doubt, Bwog recommends a cell phone for superior accuracy.
- At midnight, open your window or go outside.
- Scream. Loudly. It should sound like this. Morningside Heights residents will wonder if you’ve been “skewered,” apparently.
- Keep it short. Some of you will be tempted to scream for more than three minutes. Ignore this temptation.
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16 Comments
@Coooolumbia! People used to say that there is no school spirit at this University, but with Primal Scream, Puppies, Orgo Night, Midnight Breakfast, and an awesome final “Hard Core” video, I see we have plenty of it.
Coooolumbia! Coooolumbia!
@anonymous funny how all of our school spirit centers around finals. commiseration ftw! but, hey…it’s a start :) now for the rest of the school year…
@Anonymous it’s primal scream, bwog! we can scream as much as we fucking want!
@EC Townhouse Resident We won. We had a horn. And free candy.
@Furnald I raise you a vuvzella.
@Anonymous That was loud.
@Anonymous and fun!
@Anonymous nice lungs! heard everyone screaming from 112th st
@BC '14 Heard it from 110. Good work everyone.
@Anonymous I thought this was a cool and unique Columbia tradition my freshman year. Then I realized we are just one of many colleges who do this so I felt sad. And now I am waiting until the pillow fight so I can feel special again.
@Yeah, I know what you mean My friend up at Cornell was flipping out over her first scream, and I’m just like, ‘bitch pleez.’
But it’s whatever, we got the pillow fight. We’re still the best.
@We are the hollow students We are the tired lions
Cramming together
Headpiece filled with facts. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We study together
Are quiet and meaningless
As a red flag over green grass
Or recycling bins marked for glass
In our green campus
Thesis without form, coffee without creme,
Paralysed pencil, fingers without motion;
Those who have transferred
With well-earned A’s, to some other Campus
Remember us—if at all—not as crazy
Cranky bitches, but only
As the hollow students
The tired students.
@Anonymous now write one about the puppies.
@Anything to avoid writing this paper We are happy puppies
We are cute puppies
Barking together
Tails filled with adorable. Alas!
Our wet noses, when
We woof together
Are soft and tickly
As wind in dry grass
Or human fingers through caged doors
In our quaint kennels
Furry without fleas, tame without collars,
Pouncing paws, scruffy without mange;
Those who have walked
With puppy-less leashes, to Broadway’s other Petco
Remember us—if at all—not as filthy
Little dogs, but only
As happy puppies
Cute puppies.
@Anonymous Chris Silverberg?
@No. Not Chris Silverberg.