As you’ve probably noticed, a main staircase in Lerner has been broken since last week, making the irritating trek from the ground floor to the package center a nauseating ramp-circling odyssey. We thought that the stairs might only be closed for a day or two, but now that the repairs are stretching into their second week, we’re forced to ponder the deeper implications of this bizarre facilities maintenance. What’s the deal, Columbia? Is it just about to collapse?

No stairs for you.