Clogged arteries are a small price to pay for this kind of joy

Bwog recently received this email from someone who may or may not have been sober, and our interest (and appetite) was piqued.

Dear Bwog,

I feel like doing something crazy this weekend. Are there any places where, if I manage to eat a crazy amount of food, I get my picture on a wall or some other award?

Get CAVA on speed dial,

Dear Hungry,

Food is very important to us here at Bwog, so we happily polled some neighborhood spots to see if they had rewards for those looking to test the limits of gluttony and good taste. Here’s what we found:

  • Ben & Jerry’s on 104th and Broadway offers brave and lactose-loving patrons the mammoth Vermonster20 scoops of ice cream with toppings, weighing in around 6,000 calories. If you and one teammate can finish the Vermonster in ten minutes, you get a coupon for… another one. Depending on how much you like ice cream, this could be either a reward or a vom-inducing punishment.
  • Though it doesn’t involve food, earning a spot on the brew crew at Mel’s is another stomach-swelling feat. To gain a spot on the “crew”  you have to pick up a card and get it punched for forty different kinds of beer (the back of the card states that you are not allowed to do this in a single day, in case you’re feeling especially ambitious). Once the card is filled, your name is posted behind the bar and you’re eligible for nightly brew crew specials. You also get 20 ounces of beer for the price of 16.
  • On the Amsterdam side of things, there is also the unofficial “Tour de Hamdel”, which involves eating all twenty-nine Hamdel sandwiches (not in one sitting, although we’re sure that counts for bonus points). This sandwich odyssey seems fairly unexciting but it has its devotees, as outlined by WikiCU.
  • We also contacted Koronets to see if they reward the wasted motivated patrons who finish an entire Koronets pizza in front of witnesses. The employee that we spoke to seemed to feel that finishing the enormous pizza in one sitting was reward enough. Touché.
  • If this isn’t enough action for you, here’s a comprehensive lineup of upcoming eating competitions and ongoing food challenges in greater New York.

Now that we’ve armed you with knowledge, go forth and stuff your face.

Sugary Triumph via Wikimedia Commons