“Ugh, Valentine’s Day: the holy day of socially-constructed schmaltz, corporate-manufactured mirth, and earlobe nibbling. Who has time for a relationship anyway?”
FALSE, everyone deserves a big spoon. And YentaBwog is here to help you find that special someone. Lovelorn single folk, we invite you to participate in our annual Personals series. Just fill out the scientifically proven questionnaire below and submit your most flattering photo to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll showcase the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes on Bwog for Planet Columbia to admire. Then, interested dates can contact us, and we’ll shell out $10 for your romantic evening.
True love starts with this survey:
- Name, Year, School, Major
- Preference (guy for guy, etc.)
- Your dream date in seven words or less
- What redeems you as a human being?
- Myers-Briggs Personality type
- Ref room or 209
- Guilty pleasure song
- Late night food stop
- Historical Hottie
@Anonymous ENFP…Music major!
@eye en tea jay INTJ. I seem to have a compsci curse (an ex-semi-serious relationship and 2 men I’m seeing now all majored in compsci). Shit’s cray.
@Anonymous ISTJ anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
@Anon I second the ISTJ :D
@Anonymous Any ENFPs out there?
@Yes! What’s your major? I’m in the social sciences, which seems to fit really well with the personality type.
@ENFP Anglais major
@Anonymous ENFP and thinking about chem :)
@Anonymous INTP anyone?
@cc 15 Me! Me!
@mhm! what’s your major?
@cc 15 Undecided. You?
@Funny... I feel sort of guilty that I’m an INTJ.
@ESFP I’ll bet you i’m one of, like, 5 people on this campus
@Anonymous Let me tell you how special you are.
@Anonymous u mad
@omygod this thread is so columbia…. barf
@INFJ? Nope! INFP!
@Me too! Finally someone understands me
@Anonymous No thanks, I like my self-esteem undestroyed by assholes on the internet.
@ENFJ Where y’all at?!
@CC'14 In a relationship, but really want to do this just so I can boast my INFJness.
@CC'14 INFJ’s where it’s at
@Anonymous …the entirety of the Parent Trap. What if love was always like that?
@Anonymous Where my ENTJ’s at!
@Anonymous This comment seems so innocent after reading all of the above.
@Anonymous ENTJs in the house.
Fuck everyone else.
@Anonymous and a happy Anna Howard Shaw day to you too.
@cc'12 the only anna i’d be happy about is my former classmate’s old fiance. 69, 96, 6|9, 66, 669, 996, you name it! alllllllllllllllll kinds of positions on that bubble butt.
@curious now that we’re all talking about love, how many of you would get engaged to a girlfriend of approx. 3-5 years right after graduation?
i am only saying this cuz i’m 22 and a few of my friends from the class of 2010 got engaged already altho one of them broke the engagement.
@cc'12 i’d do it in a heart beat and was planning to. except the girlfriend i broke up with a week ago wasn’t what i would call “the one”
i know who your friends are lol
@cc alum 11 lulz i know who you are now. bitches come and go my friend, bitches come and go.
i didn’t know you considered the M word with her!
@cc'12 ROFL!!!!! o hai. is this what we’re resorting to now after you deact. your facebook?
what did you think of d’s, c’s, and t’s fiances?
@cc alum 11 d’s fiance: smoking hot, very well rounded, great ass, intelligent and witty. id fuck her brains out all day every day. sometimes a bit loony but who gives a fuck?
c’s fiance: scrupulous tits, amazing ass. very very fuckable. bio med engineering major too. what a sweetheart. shit, i’d marry her. have some great lookin’ kids
t’s fiance: dont know her that well. she seems chill.
@uuuuuuuh the track button?
@cc alum'11 what about it?
i wrote the above first comment in this response pile.
@cc'15 With an attitude like this, objectifying women, you, sir, will never get married.
@cc alum 11 watch me bitch! watch me like you watch bollinger at your graduation.
and be inspired. and learn.
@cc'15 In spite of your graduating, there is a reason why you’re still checking Bwog.
@cc'12 hahahahahahaha wtf is “Scrupulous tits”???
word dude. anna’s body, shit! chick’s got ass for daysssss. i’ll bet she’s a freak in bed. it’s always the quiet shy sweet ones who are freaks in bed.
@cc alum 11 she was nice and shy up till she wasn’t nice and shy hahahahahahaha
whatevs i’d still bang her!
@cc'12 right on kuh.
hey, would you marry kristy if you were “c”?
@cc alum 11 wait who the fuck is kristy?
c got engaged to some chick whose name begins with e…
@Anonymous This little thread is fucking hilarious.
@Anonymous haha only a columbia student would use the phrase “scrupulous tits”
Even when we objectify we are still pretentious
@Anonymous Yenta does not get matched, she is a matchmaker.
@Anonymous INTJ ftw.
@Anonymous Already dating but now I kinda want to submit to Bwog just to rep my INTJ pedigree
@fellow INTJ i’m all for repping INTJ, but why is it a “pedigree”?
@Anonymous Because INTJs are the 2%, apparently.
@Anonymous I want to date you for expressing this sentiment.
@Anonymous Pardon my ignorance, but I’ve tried several times to understand the distinctions between INTJ and INTP, and every time I’ve found conflicting explanations. I’ve tested into a mixture of both, and paradoxically, I would self-report as an ISTP. So what *is* the difference between INTJ and INTP? *sits back and starts munching on popcorn, anticipating several contradictory answers*
Bonus Points: What does it say about my personality that the more I read about MBTI the more skeptical I am that any of the categories besides Introverted/Extroverted reflect any real insight into human behavior?
@Anonymous It is not for your opinion, but for the tone you take in expressing that opinion that I have come to determine that you, my friend, are one asshole of a skeptic.
@Anonymous Whoah, it looks like I may have pissed off some of the ENFJ’s on this site, amiright?
@I think J = Judging
P = Perception
Do you like to make judgments about what you see or not? Being J means you want to have an opinion about everything. Being P means you’re more interested in understanding that different people feel differently and there isn’t necessarily one right answer.
Whenever you criticize cultural and moral relativism, you’re using J. Whenever you argue that you need to be open to someone else’s POV, you’re using P.
For what it’s worth, I’m ENFP.
@Anonymous Hmmm, thanks, I think that may explain somewhat why I’m testing in between, because I hate forming judgements, but on the other hand, there are some things (such as moral relativism) on which I believe there is an absolute right answer.
@Anonymous bwog, thanks for giving me an excuse to watch (at least some of) the parent trap!
@JOHN MUIR is the hottest of historical hotties. What a beard. What. a. beard.
@Anonymous What a mighty good beard.
@since when is ‘guy for guy’ the default preference? This is not NYU!
@oh hai there ~*~*~heterosexist normatives*~*~
@Anonymous We call that society.
@Anonymous Stop reposting this everywhere, we know it’s still you…
@Anonymous That was meant to be in reply to the poster reposting the “shit columbia students say” video.
@i want to date the girl who posted this crap on youtube the other day… ‘bouncingbrittany’ or whatver her youtube name is
shit columbia students say: