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Orgo Night Recap

The semesterly tradition of filling Butler 209 to capacity happened last night, and for all those who missed out on the swampy experience (the B.O. levels rivaled Butler 409) we present a short collection of thoughts, observations, and Instagram-y photos cobbled together at a surprisingly empty 1020 (thank you Lit Hum and CC finals!). 

The crowd started gathering around 11:30, and shortly thereafter otherwise peaceful Butler-ites started climbing tables and bookshelves to get a prime viewing spot like it was an overcrowded music festival. The initial dead poets were quickly joined, and for a period of time 209 officially had more people standing on things that weren’t the floor. The oppressive Public Safety presence was visibly impressed by the noble and dignified actions of the future leaders they’ve sworn to protect.

Bags of potato chips and maybe a flask or two were passed around among friends as a light chant—”Paddy’s Pub! Paddy’s Pub!—echoed from somewhere in the middle of the room. We’d guess that wine may have found its way into some cans.

A bit past midnight the band proudly marched into the room, and all agreed that what our band lacks in rhythm and polished technique, it more than makes up for in authentic nonchalance and showmanship.

We’re posting the full transcript below, and so we won’t bore you with a blow-by-blow when you could fill in sleep deprived laughter after nearly every sentence.

Guys were, in every instance, better targets of humor, as jabs at Barnard girls or vaginas often fell into a medley of belly laughs and groaning conversation. In the third “stanza,” “movement,” “act” or whatever you want to call it, Rich noted the rites of passage for each school:

Rites of passage mark the most important times in our lives. Like when they hand CC students the Iliad, or SEAS kids their beanies, or Barnard girls their rape whistles.

Audible dissatisfaction clued the observant audience member into the fact that Midnight Breakfast probably wasn’t well attended this year… A nearby women stage whispered, “What the F!” Her companion was quick to calm her, saying “Just don’t worry about it. They’re just having fun.” The original objector shook her head, and asked in disbelief, “So, SEAS kids don’t really wear beanies?”

Among the range of topics covered by CUMB, the CUCR drama was particularly near and dear to us at Bwog. Although their recap was spot on and hilarious, the highest moment of hilarity came after the first time Rich spake the word “CUCR” when someone shouted “FUCK THEM!” A hearty round of applause was followed by the CUDems Board chanting “CU Dems!” which prompted even louder booing and jeers. Justice? Revenge? Maybe they’re jealous of all the attention, who knows?

In the end, Orgo Night was an uproarious success, and congratulations need be extended to CUMB for a great kick off to Finals Season.

Click Here to Read the Full Orgo Night Script

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30 Comments

  • CUMB needs more content says:

    @CUMB needs more content Really, two monologues on Republicans while spending that much time talking about abortion? While this school is liberal and will laugh at conservatives on demand, make it one monologue next time. This school had more than enough to make fun of besides that.

  • extremely offended says:

    @extremely offended but highly entertained

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Actually Midnight Breakfast had a ton of people and when Orgo Night finished, they all came over to Midnight Breakfast.

  • No. says:

    @No. It is NOT acceptable to justify a joke about rape whistles by saying they’re just having fun; it is even less acceptable to silence a woman’s protest and turn her into a hysterical, overdramatic noise to be ignored.

    1. Rape Whistles says:

      @Rape Whistles I agree being raped by whistles is not fun and is nothing to be joked about. I join in the solidarity with the above poster. No one should ever make whistles into a joke they are terrible people.

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous The joke isn’t making light of rape. It’s pointing out that despite the fact that Barnard and Columbia women live in the same neighborhood and face the same potential danger, one school feels its necessary to hand out rape whistles and the other does not.

    3. bitches be cray says:

      @bitches be cray You’re right, rape jokes are never okay. Except when we crack jokes about male prisoners getting ass-raped. Then we can laugh our asses off. On that note, at least women enjoy vaginal sex… try getting ass raped!

      1. anon says:

        @anon who says men don’t enjoy butt sex?

      2. inadvertent crack joke says:

        @inadvertent crack joke butt actually

      3. This is wrong. says:

        @This is wrong. It is not ok to write off rape because a woman has enjoyed sex before.
        It is just not ok.

        1. Internet Cowboy says:

          @Internet Cowboy Hello,

          I noticed that you were having a little trouble there, and I thought I’d stop by to give you a hand.

          You see, what we’re on right now is called a website. Websites live in the Internet, which is kind of like the wild west of information. You don’t always know what you’re going to get on the Internet. It could be amazingly informative and thoughtful, or it could be two dudes fucking each other with big black dildos. *You never know*

          And a part of that spontaneity and mystery is a surprising liberty: You no longer have to take people seriously! This isn’t a seminar or some fireside chat with PrezBo. This is the fucking wild west, and there aren’t any rules out here! That means you’re going to be at a disadvantage if you try to pretend that there are.

          Which brings us to the reason for my interruption. You see, I think you’re making a mistake. I think—and I may be wrong here, and if that’s the case I apologize—I think you’re *taking that comment seriously*. “bitches be cray” over there isn’t trying to make a good point to impress the professor or win over converts; he’s (I’m making an assumption, forgive me) just fucking around on the Internet in between paragraphs of a paper he doesn’t want to write.

          Even if “bitches be cray” is being serious, do you really think that your little interjection is going to sway him over to the moral side of things? Probably not. That might be a little sad, but it’s a fact of life we have to life with. :/ womp.

          So that’s about it. I think you’ll find this whole mess makes A LOT more sense when you take it less seriously. You won’t be so offended all the time, and you might have a laugh or two!

          I hope it all works out for you in the end!

          Good luck,

          Internet Cowboy

          1. Anonymous says:

            @Anonymous tl; dr

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous “thinking about all those things you said about admit rates and “M-R-S” Degrees and scissoring, we have only one thing to say…Jesus Christ, Columbia students are assholes.”

    HAHAHAHHAHA

    #pride

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Are you going to post the video?

    1. Tyler Benedict says:

      @Tyler Benedict Full video will be posted on the Band’s YouTube channel by the end of the day. Check back here for an updated post!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous there were almost no good barnard jokes. disappointment. the had so much good material to work with this year too

    1. Actually, says:

      @Actually, I really liked how the band handled the Barnard jokes this time around. Not nearly as sexist as in the past, yet they still managed to comment on Barnard and the Barnard-Columbia relationship in a funny way. I thought the Obama joke at the end was right on.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous and the joke about the p.e. requirement and yoga mats? It was funny, a little humiliating, and obviously written by someone who actually goes to Barnard. It was great.

        Also, the one about turning my vibrator to ‘phone’ gets me every time.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous why do barnard girls get rape whistles if they are usually the rapists? ever been to a fucking (emphasis on fucking) fraternity party? them bitches are horny.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous lolyep I guess that would be the one that gives a shit about its students.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Rich Medina…shady character.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Republicans and College Republicans are different topics, though equally hilarious. And anyone who thinks the material just fell into the band’s lap obviously didn’t watch the promo video. Those jokes take a lot of work to write!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45oNBR2suIw

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous how many people would you estimate were stuffed into 209 last night?!?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I’m really shocked that these comments about how it’s not okay to make light of rape and silence women when they protest are getting SO MANY downvotes…. Is this what we think of women? That they need to take jokes about rape, and be shut up not only when they protest but also when they comment on it later?

    And saying “it’s only the internet, don’t take it seriously” is hardly a solution to the very obvious flaws in the mental pathways of a lot of the commenters and downvoters.

    1. Wow these downvoters says:

      @Wow these downvoters Are you fucking kidding me I literally hate this misogynist nest of assholes.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Bad news…the audio files on our video are corrupted, so we have no way to load the official footage. If anyone out there knows someone who taped any portion of Orgo Night, please email me at poet@cuband.org…we’d really appreciate it. Thanks!

  • cc'14 says:

    @cc'14 god I hate orgo night. it’s pompous, presumptuous, offensive, and in no manner amusing. also, annoying as fuck.

  • BC '13 says:

    @BC '13 Me too! I thought it was hilarious and actually really powerful. In the wake of all the Obama drama, the way the Band treated it was spot on. It made it clear that they, and a majority of the student body, really do support our entire university community. The Band did a better job than the administration of showing that the hateful comments were not representative of the population of Columbia. So much love for the CUMB!

    1. BC '13 says:

      @BC '13 This was supposed to be in response to “Actually” up above, talking about how the Band handled Barnard jokes. Posting issues….

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