Claim to Fame? I am uncommonly good at getting people to trust me with money including a small club called Face AIDS, the amazing brothers of SigEp, and at one time, a voting majority of Columbia College students.
Where are you going? Most likely I’ll be conducting research here, in New York, for two years before I commit to another 4 years of education somewhere.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
“Back in my day…” JJs place was open obscenely late and the lawns were rarely open at all.
Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I’ve mentored a lot of boys who have walked through SigEp’s red doors. Hopefully for the better.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? It’s not over. There’s still a lot of work to be done on alcohol policy though a giant step forward in general was last year’s Good Samaritan policy.
As far as war stories, let’s just say it didn’t start with root beer inside.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? To borrow from Ferris’ own G.K. Chesterton, “The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese”. Given I’m not a poet by any stretch, I’ll say if it has to be one or the other, it would be the oral sex.
Advice for the class of 2016:
Any regrets? Too many to count. I should have treated someone better, spent more time in the city during the summers, and finished more readings.