Name, Hometown, School: Sam Schube, Los Angeles, CC, studying English

Claim to Fame? The Blue and White, COÖP, and I probably spoke over you in that English seminar a bunch.

Where are you going? Staying in New York, looking for editorial work.

Three things you learned at Columbia?

  1. 1020 is a better living room than anything housing has to offer.
  2. Poetry just isn’t for me, but Victorian lit is.
  3. I’m still not sure I ever learned how to use “dialectic” properly in class or in writing, but that didn’t stop me from doing it anyway.

Back in my day…” they called it Shea.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I’m equally interested in the death of the author and the plight of the point forward.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? As long as the university is run like a corporation, the war on fun will continue. We’re simply too big a liability to be allowed to wreak the good kinds of havoc. That’s cynical, though–you can always get away with having a good time. The terrace on the 5th floor of Kent is a fine place to start.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’ll defer to Keith Richards, who’s seen some things: “Cheese is a no-no for me. Everybody else, go eat it. Just take a look at yourself. Fermented milk is not the ideal choice for everyday eating, that’s all.”

Advice for the class of 2016?

You’re never too busy to have a few with some pals at 1020. Put away your phone, especially if it’s smart; you might see someone or something interesting. Ride a bike. Try to read the occasional extracurricular novel. Play hooky to go to a baseball game. Broadly, watch sports–it’ll only add to the things you learn in class about labor, race, and history in America. Study what you love–this place needs curious students in every field–and defend it, fiercely. And never stop questioning the administration, who, to these conspiracy-seeking eyes, are more interested in LeBron-style global brandhood than healthy (uninhibited, robust, and wide-open?) undergrad education.

Any regrets? 

Too many, most of which involve 1020.