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Security Alert: Watch Your Shit

Barnard students received a (curiously worded…) security alert about several thefts around campus.  Keep on the lookout!  Full report as follows:

A male black is wanted for several thefts on the Morningside campus. On August 16, 2012, he stole a laptop in Schemerhorn. On August 20, 2012, he stole an I-Phone in CEPSR. On August 23, 2012 he stole an I-Phone in Fairchild. If you observe suspicious bahavior on on campus, notify Public Safety immediately at 212-854-5555. Additionally, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR PROPERTY UNATTENDED.

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10 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous …a male black? wow.

  • Sigh says:

    @Sigh Always the I-Phone.

    1. Droid Owner says:

      @Droid Owner Woohoo! I’m safe.

  • Sentient colours says:

    @Sentient colours Oh dear, it seems this 2012 shit is for real. Before you know it orange will be handing out sugar cookies in front of Butler and green will be following PrezBo around campus.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous All three are equally implausible.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous It’s hardly foolproof, but installing Prey could possibly help alleviate situations like this.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous A male black? What is this, “The Hangover”? Racial I.D.ing is fine but lets go with black man, not male black, Public Safety.

    1. pissed off says:

      @pissed off are you so fucking stupid that you didn’t realize it was an error of word order? male black translates to black male. If black male is racial profiling, go screw yourself!

      we live in a country where we’re afraid to using FUCKING ADJECTIVES. give me a break.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous We use FUCKING adjectives all the time. Like you know, “That test was FUCKING annoying” or “That comment was FUCKING stupid”.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Yes, but does it smell? After all, we are Ivy Leagers and it ain’t supposed to.

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