As intensely dedicated journalists, Bwog has tried hard to avoid bias and hearsay in the months leading up to the election. Finally though, the tough times of campaigning are over, so we can let our hair down and have a drink or two with the knowledge that our incumbent will continue to cumb for four more years. Here’s our guide to having a post-presidential pint.

Take a shot:

  • Every time you hear Mitt Romney’s name again.
  • Any time you need serious medical treatment that might not have been covered by your insurance had Obama not been elected.
  • Whenever you’re trying to get crossfaded in a state that just legalized marijuana.

Drink a beer:

  • For every bizarre online rant that you see from someone you used to know in high school that has, apparently, turned into a complete asshole.
  • With the guy person you’d most like to see in the White House after Obama. Make sure it’s domestic.
  • When you’re at home, unemployed, living off the government.

Drink a finger of whiskey:

  • For every “like” your friends’ inspirational voting stories receive on Facebook.
  • When you laugh with friends about how you committed massive voter fraud to benefit the Democratic Party.
  • After you finally treat your stress-induced, finger-swelling issue that flared up on Election Night.

President Obama via Shutterstock