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Betches Claim to Love Columbia

But really, there was a whole Gossip Girl plot arc about how Blair couldn't get in here. Come on.

But really, there was a whole Gossip Girl plot arc about how Blair couldn’t get in here. Bwog expected more.

In the course of Not Doing Work, Bwog totally forgot about our I-Banking interviews and midterms when we saw our GBFF had instagrammed an iPhone screenshot we’d all been waiting for: Columbia University has had the inestimable honor of being profiled by Betches Love This.

The article is pretty tame by Bwog-comment standards. The most cringe-worthy part is the author’s racist break-down of our student body into Hipsters, Sorority Girls, Frat Bros, Internationals and Asians.  We’re not too annoyed the Betches didn’t talk about us since they didn’t even mention Nate Archibald’s star run on the lax team.

If non-stop midterm studying has caused you to forget every tired Columbia stereotype that’s existed since Nicholas Murray Butler graduated, this article will be of great use. If you’re missing your fix on bitching in comments (about Bacchanal), jump straight into the excellent betchstorm in the comments.

It’s like whateverdying.

Queen B via Wikimedia


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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous @Sherry J. Wolf: Honestly, I’m starting to get impressed by your dedication. It’s like you beat the dead horse so much that it turned into fertilizer for the apple seeds that were in its stomach. Now an apple tree is rising from the horse’s carcass. Its not a particularly fruitful apple tree, but its starting to get humorous.

  • seriously? says:

    @seriously? Not accurate and not funny. :/ And I feel like the perpetuation of these sorts of stereotypes only do harm to our sense of community and ignore the richness and diversity of the people here.

    I feel like Bwog is better off doing bios of students than talking about something so clearly meant to polarize us and massage the ego of the writers. :/

  • not a fan says:

    @not a fan of these “funny” “satirical” bwog “pieces”

  • the thing is says:

    @the thing is Works like tear down people who don’t need to be torn down. Jocks? Already been done. Sorority girls? Same thing. And to clump together a group of the student body into “asians”? Boring, unnecessary, and borderline racist. Satire should target the ridiculous speech and actions of those in power, a la Colbert, and not harmless non-cohesive populations of the student body, be it jocks or Barnard students. This author and ppl like the marching band are in a position where they can be heard by all but those being “satired” haven’t really done anything worth making fun of and can’t repudiate these claims. idk I’m just really tired of this grade school bs pretending to be staire.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous “everyone else is a desperate Econ major clawing for interviews at Goldman or JP Morgan”

    amen to that. ya’ll bitches need to repent.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous the number of links in this article is obnoxious. moderation.

  • What will people says:

    @What will people think of this then?

  • chill out says:

    @chill out everyone needs to chill out. this website is joke. like actually the whole purpose of the website is to be a joke. if this is not the columbia you know, then fine. get over it. its supposed to be funny, not analyzed.

    1. Sherry J. Wolf says:

      @Sherry J. Wolf You’re a joke. A misogynistic one. You need to get re-educated.

    2. Okay says:

      @Okay I actually hate when people say you can’t analyze humor. Why are jokes these holy exceptions that no one is allowed to analyze ever or else they are an overly sensitive crybaby? Sure, farce is great sometimes, but the best humor is calling your attention to something new or an old something in a new way. That’s being critical! Yes? Yes. Okay.

  • Come on guys says:

    @Come on guys If you can’t take this as a joke and actually admit that this is incredibly accurate…. I don’t know where we’ve come to.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous but it isnt! it is nothing like the columbia i know

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous A bunch of people I know and love have taken this far too seriously and have gone on endless rants about this article.

      It’s a JOKE/PARODY/CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WILL. They’re not trying to marginalize any group on campus. They make fun of EVERYONE.

      Please chill.

  • wait says:

    @wait this is a joke right, this website? satire, parody, something?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous ” She’s never waited on line at a club or bar in her life. She wears the best clothes and can pull off risqué, cool outfits with ease and without looking like a whore, or Lady Gaga. Her life is like an episode of The Hills, always involving some sort of drama with her friends or a guy that everyone wants to know about, even if they barely know her.”

    yeah desperate to be her friend, that’s me

  • Disgusted says:

    @Disgusted Disgusting

    1. Sherry J. Wolf says:

      @Sherry J. Wolf Snaps.

      Let’s occupy these betches.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous snapping is like the worst thing ever.

  • Sherry J. Wolf says:

    @Sherry J. Wolf This is offensive.

    There’s not even a SINGLE mention of the PLIGHT of FACULTY HOUSE WORKERS or STUDENTS FOR JUSTICE IN PALESTINE. Please re-examine your privileged journalistic priorities and take it down, bwog.

  • On behalf of Columbia men... says:

    @On behalf of Columbia men... What, my dear bwog, is a “betch”?

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