Brian Driscoll

Here we have Brian Driscoll with a shockingly actual honest Senior Wisdom.  Congratulations on your graduation today!

Name, Hometown, School: Brian! Driscoll, Sandusky, OH, GS

Claim to fame? GS Alumni Key award winner. I’m also a Visual Art major; we’re rarer than unicorns.  Also, for some reason people always remember my hair.

Where are you going? I’m staying in New York to paint.  Buy my stuff.  I’m poor.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. You can win a free laptop if you go to enough sporting events.  Seriously, what do you think I am typing this on?  There is free stuff all over this campus; you just have to look for it.
   
2. Strategically pick your classes based on the professor and then work to build a relationship.  Nobody is going to just hand you a good letter of recommendation.
3. Picasso is like a child washing their hands after being caught masturbating.  Ok, so maybe I still don’t know what that means, but I heard it in a lecture once.

Back in my day… Hurricane Irene destroyed orientation.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’m here to paint.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To the old lady model at Artist Society, I want to wrap up in your extra skin like it is a blanket.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Who could give up cheese?  Vegans are stupid.

One thing to do before graduating: Take Music Hum over the summer.  No one wants to go to the Opera.

Any regrets? Hell no!  I regret nothing!  One of my friends told me her biggest regret was not getting a new prosthetic eye while she still had Columbia’s insurance though.