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Senior Wisdom: Evan Burger

Evan Burger

Evan Burger

Tonight’s Senior Wisdom: Evan Burger, of SWS fame, who calls us out on our own darker past.

Name, Hometown, School: Evan Burger; Huxley, Iowa; CC (Philosophy major)

Claim to fame: Founding member/lead organizer of Student-Worker Solidarity by day, Lerner manager by night.

Where are you going? Starting June 3rd, I’ll be fighting corporate power in the heartland as a community organizer with a group called Iowa Citizens for Community Improvement.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  • 1) Contrary to appearances, no one has it all figured out. Columbia students are pros at constructing the image of a perfect life, but that’s always a facade. Everyone has problems, usually big ones.
  • 2) The key to successful drinking is hydration: downing a couple bottles of water after a long night is by far the easiest way to make sure you don’t feel like shit the next morning.
  • 3) When in doubt, err on the side of being friendly. It takes so little effort but makes life so much better!

Back in my day…Bwog was blue, you could get around the print quota with ctrl-alt-backspace, and the incredible deal that is $8.50 12-packs of PBR at Rite-Aid did not exist.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I like to think I have a unique grounding in both political theory and actual practice — I can debate post-structuralist theory, but also explain the nitty-gritty of direct action tactics.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Potluck House: from your well-appointed foyer to your fifth floor “office,” I adore your every inch. I don’t know how you do it, but you manage to stay classy even when you’re absolutely filthy. You’re welcoming, you’re homey, and I’m so glad I found you.

Oh yeah, and your tenants are pretty awesome as well :)

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Midwestern cuisine is very dairy-heavy… It’s a tough decision, but I can’t cut myself off from my culinary roots.

One thing to do before graduating: Fight for something bigger than yourself. Having fun is important (especially at Columbia), but I’ve found that being a part of a community that’s fighting for a better world is when I’m happiest.

Any regrets? Yeah, of course — it’s easy to look back and see all the awesome classes you didn’t take (and the stupid ones you did), all the people you only met senior year that you wish you would have met the first week, and all the opportunities that you squandered. But this kind of thinking does absolutely nothing besides make you miserable. I can honestly say I’m so happy with my life right now, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!

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27 Comments

  • hangnever says:

    @hangnever number 2 = TRUEST STORY EVER TOLD

    1. anon says:

      @anon I don’t understand how this is non-obvious to Columbia students, or how it even needs to be said. Hangovers partially result from dehydration. Hence, drink water to prevent dehydration.

  • Jaded Graduate Student says:

    @Jaded Graduate Student This is excellent advice for any underclassmen. Make the most of it because those 4 years will be up fast!

  • tool alert says:

    @tool alert oh really, you can debate post-structuralist theory? people like you give theory a bad name

    1. Hey Dude says:

      @Hey Dude “When in doubt, err on the side of being friendly. It takes so little effort but makes life so much better!”

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Let’s play i spy. I spy a tool and it’s not Evan.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Evan! you are an awesome person. I wish I had met you earlier.

  • this kid says:

    @this kid E nergetic
    V ery wonderful
    A dorable
    Nice as fuck

    B alla activist
    U rethra
    R ighteous
    G roovy
    E gg
    R eally gonna miss him!

    1. Poetic says:

      @Poetic You had me at “urethra”

  • this kid says:

    @this kid evan is the best thing since i last got licked by a puppy

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous seems like the Andrew WK of CU

  • CC14 says:

    @CC14 Evan you will be sorely missed!!! Your leadership and passion for justice in our community has made my Columbia experience so much richer and more meaningful. So excited to see all the great organizing work you will do in the future!

  • saw this guy says:

    @saw this guy with black tape over his mouth at ORGO night. So I can’t really take him seriously…

    1. you are says:

      @you are @saw this guy: sosososo fucked up for saying this..

  • SEAS 17 says:

    @SEAS 17 So is the word “Bwog” supposed to stand for something.

    1. JJ11 4 Lyfe says:

      @JJ11 4 Lyfe nah my dude its a portmanteau of like “Blog” and “Blue and White” lmao i just dk w/ some of u youngins its all good tho i aint got nothin but love 4 u idk

  • wait says:

    @wait ctrl-alt-backspace doesn’t work anymore?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous it resets the computer station

  • Jay-Cups says:

    @Jay-Cups POTLUCK

  • Stranger says:

    @Stranger Yo, i’ve been trying to figure out if the lerner guy and a student were the same person or just looked alike. glad to have this mystery solved.

  • Alex Smyk says:

    @Alex Smyk This is awesome!

  • Senior girl says:

    @Senior girl Number 1 is so so true! So glad I realised this and stopped beating myself up for not having everything figured out like everyone else seemed to have; it made me able to enjoy my time here and actually figure [most] things out by graduation.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous $8.50 12ers of PBR? that was when i stopped reading and came down here to say:

    you, sir, are truly wise

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous What does SWS stand for?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Student Worker Solidarity

  • ahem says:

    @ahem those thighs.

  • kid in the front row says:

    @kid in the front row The leader of SWS is in my 20th cen euro philosophy class?! I am a huge fan of you Evan!

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