lettuce what?

Sunday, 1:13 am: next up on the 1020 pool table…

Saturday was apparently the day for drunk tipping, as our inboxes were inundated with weird emails. We’re gonna go ahead and let the messages speak for themselves. Read on for this week’s field notes.

The emails:

Saturday, 12:39 am, anonymous tip form: [Subject line: seen] too fst yeers r plying cohncenraytion in buller libary

Saturday, 10:31 am: Walked into the extremely steamy bathroom of McBain 8 while brushing my teeth. The only other person in there was taking a shower. I notice finger-writing on the steam of the mirror, and squint. “The Chamber of Secrets has been opened.”

Saturday, 12:35 am: Currently shirtless and dancing to 90s music. And no shame. 

Saturday, 1:35 pm: Friday night, Carman elevator, guy wearing sunglasses: “Dude, acid and scarves do not go well together. I can feel it tightening around my neck, strangling me…”

Saturday, 11:13 pm: Nussbaum 2 just busted for people smoking weed with THREE POLICE OFFICERS jeezuschrist

Sunday, 12:12 am: At a hookah bar downtown: A very intoxicated woman: “I just passed the bar exam, bitches!” She then preceded to make out with a man.

Such grace.

Sunday, 3:09 pm, anonymous tip form: Overheard: I was so exciteddddd to be in a bar that I drank too much?

Well ok then

IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN

Pourhouse, give up

The notes:

Spec has finally agreed with us on something: after a near-empty Senior Night last Wednesday, we’ve all had enough of Village Pourhouse. Bring it back to Havana, dammit!

1020 Friday night was banging.

Beta party on Saturday was surprisingly not inundated with sweat and underclassmen. There was a good use of hookah and the party cleared out around a tame 1:30 am.

Meanwhile, post-Beta party, Lion’s Head was dead.

Perhaps everyone was at SigNu. They had their highlighter party where “everyone was belligerent and they yelled at you going through the door if you weren’t wearing a white shirt that could be drawn on.  It also smelled worse than usual”

Also on Saturday, a Bwogger got into and won a dance battle. It was apparently a high point in her life and she would like the world to know about it.

And waaayyyyy off-campus, a tipster overheard at UMass: “If I drink gasoline will I get drunk?”

And now, a look into the Bwog email culture:

Bwogger 1 (Saturday, 1:15 am): Overheard at toms “I hear that the heights is like THE place to be at Columbia”

Bwogger 2 (Saturday, 1:18 am): [Name redacted]– too early to be at Toms

Bwogger 1 (Saturday, 1:52 am): Rude.

Finally, for accuracy’s sake, from a tipster:

Saturday, 2:30 am: [Subject line: WILD FRIDAY NIGHT]

For the sake of statistical accuracy (a voluntary sample of field notes??? FOR SHAME BWOG!!!), I’d just like to say that some of us are spending this chilly November evening writing papers. Sober.

Seriously. It’s chilly. The heater isn’t working in this computer lab.

Okay, I’ve done my duty for Science and Math (and procrastination).

Wishing I were more drunk, xoxo, yrs eternally etc.