Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
Articles

What’s A Mouse To Do?

Not this kind of mouse, duh.

Not this kind of mouse, duh.

Yesterday, Bwog received tips that there was a mouse auditing a social psychology and political science class in 501 Schermerhorn. Senior Staff Writer Alexander Pines brings you this recollection of the events from the mouse’s perspective.

This wouldn’t have happened if Schermerhorn was a normal building, not some House of Leaves shit.

I saw a poster in Hamilton for one of those neat IRWAG events in the Schermerhorn Extension (what, you think mice can’t be feminists? Up your inter-species intersectionality) and got completely lost. Things have been going downhill ever since they turned Wallach into Furnald (without A/C, of course, the bastards). Used to be we could roam the LLC–sleep on countertops, live in dishwashers (how’s it going, Hartley 6?), sneak under doorways into those cozy little prison cells rooms. But now that Wallach is all nice, the available territory in the LLC is just Hartley. And with how stressful it is to live in Columbia housing, I imagine all the kids are going to get therapy cats.

But anyway, so I’m in Schermerhorn looking for that stupid extension. I’ve been there before, but all I had to do was follow a kid in a hand-made Ani Difranco shirt (figured we’d end up at the same riot grrrl event). I thought about trying to follow the handicap-accessible signs, but you assholes have them at human height. See what I mean about intersectionality?

I ended up going up and down stairs and walking in circles, because I figured that would basically suffice. I was starting to get pretty hungry, so when I saw a bunch of muffin crumbs I decided to follow the trail. I sniff my way into 501, figuring everyone would be asleep anyway, when all of a sudden people start screaming. What the hell, guys? People think it’s okay to do experiments on my family, put my friends in horrible little sticky traps where they rip their fur off in an attempt to escape before starving to death, and write books about feeding us cookies, why can’t a guy get his snack on?

I managed to make my escape, but still couldn’t find my way into the extension. I wandered around for another hour, got to the bottom of some random staircase, and ended up in the engineering terrace. Hope no one thinks I look like an experiment.

Obligatory Mean Girls reference via Wikimedia.

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

6 Comments

  • this is says:

    @this is my favorite bwog post

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous house of leaves is a terrible book

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous there was also a mouse in my international politics class to which the teacher screamed “theres a mouse!” and almost every single person in the 150 person lecture climbed up onto their chairs and screamed

  • more more more says:

    @more more more can we make this a series or something? i want more bwog

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous dae read this in a squeaky voice
    cute

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Mouse spotted again today!

  • Have Your Say

    Does anyone want to switch CC sections with me?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Favorite Comments

    This is great!!!! (read more)
    Hot New Muffins On Campus
    February 17, 2019
    Physics isn’t Enginnering, it’s just science... get your facts right (read more)
    Tell Us Where You Study And We’ll Tell You What Type Of Nerd You Are
    February 16, 2019

    Recent Comments

    This is great!!!! (read more)
    Hot New Muffins On Campus
    February 17, 2019
    Physics isn’t Enginnering, it’s just science... get your facts right (read more)
    Tell Us Where You Study And We’ll Tell You What Type Of Nerd You Are
    February 16, 2019
    Love the pose. Would love it more if you posed like that on my face. ;) (read more)
    Personals: Jenna And Leo
    February 16, 2019