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Actual Wisdom: Bruce Robbins

Bruce Robbins

Bruce Robbins

For today’s Actual Wisdom, we have Bruce Robbins, of previous and expansive Bwog fame. You know it’s a good sign when they already have a Bwog tag to their name.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer:

Justify my existence? Can’t be done. When people all around me are getting stonewalled or downsized, why should I have it so easy?

Claim to fame (what makes you special?):

I wrote an essay that gets read in University Writing. I also play a mean game of ping pong for someone who never learned the backhand smash.

What’s your most valuable or unexpected college experience?

Ping pong on acid. Followed by scrambled eggs at 6 am with my French teacher.

Back in my day… (what has changed at Columbia?):

ROTC has returned. (How could we?) I wish I had taken the Core. Also, that I had a chance to help re-write it.

What’s the craziest excuse/extension story you’ve heard?

Dog fell through the ice on the swimming pool and I had to rush him to the hospital.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?

Sorry to disappoint: I can live without oral sex.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  • not to argue against the return of ROTC, at least not on camera, and not at SIPA.
  • Uptown and downtown are two different countries—9/11 didn’t really happen up here.
  • one of the most exquisite pleasures known to the human race is making real contact in a seminar

What’s your advice to students/academics/the human race?

Thomas Pynchon: “Keep cool but care.”

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7 Comments

  • o bruce says:

    @o bruce 2 fly

  • Theory Hater says:

    @Theory Hater Oh bruce. Your theory class challenged me more than any other English class I have taken. It built me up, tore me down, and made me 100% sure than it’s all complete and utter bullshit.

    Analytic philosophy 4 lyfe.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous beautiful man beautiful soul

  • curious says:

    @curious Hi Bwog, in all these installments of Actual Wisdom, can you list what they teach/their department?

    1. Alexander Pines says:

      @Alexander Pines Good suggestion, thanks. For reference on Bruce, he’s in English and Comparative Lit. Next semester he’s teaching Comparative Modern Fiction, which is an amazing course.

  • wow says:

    @wow new life goal = play ping pong with bruce robbins on acid

  • The 9/11 comment says:

    @The 9/11 comment WOW! What a cock. This is the kind of ivory tower thinking that makes Columbia students so unlikeable post-graduation.

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