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Bwog Gets Resolved

classy as hellllll

Breakin’ out the bubbly

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! We asked our staff to take a minute to put down their drinks, detach the strangers from their faces, and get serious about 2014. Behold, our New Year’s Resolutions that we’re definitely going to keep for more than two weeks! Definitely!

Being a Real Person

  • I’ll get more sleep… well at least more than four hours per night
  • When I’m in Butler, I’ll procrastinate less
  • I’ll blow dry my hair instead of letting it freeze when I walk outside with it wet
  • I’ll do my reading at least once
  • I won’t fuck around (up for interpretation)
  • I’ll floss my teeth more often
  • I’ll floss more than once annually
  • I’ll complete my senior scramble list
  • I’ll stop picking my nail polish off
  • I’ll stop checking my email every 5 minutes
  • I’ll stop comparing my accomplishments to those of other people
  • I’ll read real books in my spare time instead of just reading Game of Thrones over and over again
  • I’ll keep my room clean for more than two days
  • I’ll read books other than textbooks
  • I’ll stop treating laundry like an incentive for finishing work
  • I’ll figure out what to do with my life

Being Someone Who Doesn’t Buy Dinner From the Vending Machine

  • I’ll only go to Hamdel once a week and maybe I’ll order something else than a Lewinsky for the first time ever
  • I’ll stop eating things just because they’re free/ cheap
  • I’ll cook something for the first time this semester
  • I’ll Drink less Red Bull OR keep drinking Red Bull but won’t let other people know
  • Tea > soda
  • I’ll cook more and spend less money
  • I’ll eat more chicken and fewer M2M burgers
  • I’ll eat less halal and more fruit
  • I’ll make the trip to Trader Joe’s
  • I’ll cook things that aren’t spaghetti

Being an Adventurer

  • I’ll stay on campus more
  • I’ll go to bars that are not 1020 for once
  • I’ll try more pizza places
  • I’ll get off campus (to places that aren’t NYU) at least once or twice a week

Being a Socially Acceptable Human

  • I’ll call my parents more than once a month
  • I’ll make fewer passive aggressive comments
  • I’ll let my friends know how much I love them… less. I think I’m overdoing it
  • I’ll smile at acquaintances when I walk past them
  • I’ll stop trolling Columbia Admirers
  • I’ll stop saying people are crazy and admit they’re probably fine — I just don’t like them/feel they have done me a personal injustice
  • Actually hang out with people after I say “Hey I haven’t seen you in so long we should hang out!”
  • I’ll work less, meet more people, and actually get to know them
  • I’ll talk more to people in my classes
  • Hang out with friends in places that aren’t libraries
  • Learn how to actually hang out with people rather than selfishly hermiting forever and ever amen
  • I’ll reconnect with old friends
  • I’ll learn how to network
  • I’ll beat surface friends at saying “why haven’t I seem you in so long?!?!” / won’t felt guilty when they ask because I could be saying the same to them
  • I’ll follow up
  • I’ll follow through
  • I’ll be more socially comfortable with people I think are Cool
  • I’ll redefine Cool
  • I’ll do a better job of keeping in touch with my friends from home

Being a General Badass Around Town

  • I’ll be less cantankerous
  • I’ll refuse to participate in any round of verbal stress Olympics next semester
  • I’ll enjoy my last semester… 6 nights out instead of 5. Monday night out anyone?
  • I’ll stop buying potato vodka, because I’m pretty sure it’s basically rubbing alcohol
  • I’ll find a way to get a therapy cat
  • I’ll go the library less and 1020 more
  • I’ll get better at taking shots
  • I’ll watch more Netflix
  • No more drugs (Advil, duh)

Being a Sporty Superstar

  • I’ll take a dance class
  • I won’t take the subway from 116th to 110 will exercise everyday
  • I’ll take the stairs more
  • Exercise more (or at all)

Being a Productive Member of Society

  • I’ll write more Bwog posts that aren’t anonymous
  • I’ll participate more in classes
  • I’ll wake up AND SHOWER before that 10:10
  • I’ll go to more museums
  • Wake up on weekends early enough to see the damn sun (applicable during winter only)
  • I’ll volunteer more
  • I’ll help clean my suite

Champagne showers via Shutterstock

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11 Comments

  • Mark Twain says:

    @Mark Twain New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

    Anyways, you want a good New Year’s cocktail?:
    1.5 oz Scotch Whiskey
    .75 oz Fresh Lemon Juice
    1 oz Simple Syrup
    2 Dashes Angostura Bitters
    Lemon Twist for Garnish
    Shake it up and serve strained with ice. You’ll thank me.

  • I will says:

    @I will get my grades. WHERE ARE THEY?!

    1. Grades are due says:

      @Grades are due Deadline for submitting grades for Fall 2013:
      Thursday, January 2, 2014 by 11:59 PM

      http://registrar.columbia.edu/faculty-and-staff/grades

      Shitty Servers Off Line (SSOL) could then take up to 24 hours to process a grade, but they tend to be processed before 9am.

    2. Anon says:

      @Anon Where the fuck are my grades?

  • My Resolution says:

    @My Resolution No fat chicks

    1. and also says:

      @and also no jerks please.

      1. Ok, so says:

        @Ok, so @and also: don’t reward them and select them then. Very simple.

  • question says:

    @question Why is the wellness post still in featured?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous probably until SWP does more than a little discussion about the feedback on their progress.

      I’m still waiting on them to do a campus wide survey of student health/happiness.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous there are so many hot girls at the mall where I work. what do I say to start a conversation with them?

    1. Anonamoose says:

      @Anonamoose Talk to them about a book you read in CC.

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