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Drawing a Blank

submitted for credit toward graduation

Academic work submitted for credit toward an Ivy League degree

Update, 8:30 pm Parida sends us this follow-up message to you, dear readers, to clarify your questions/concerns/finals-induced-rants:

“Hey guys this was a joke. I turned it in and then turned in a real assignment afterwards. Good luck on your finals. Don’t do what you thought I did. That would be bad.”

Parida, CC ’15, submitted four blank pages for her assignment on John Cage’s 4’33”. She actually did that. So Bwog had to ask…

1. Is the attached image of your paper?

Yes, sir.

2. What’s the idea behind it?

I had 4 papers and 3 finals, so I was just like ain’t nobody got time for that.

3. When did you first think of doing this—how long before the paper was due? And did you wrestle with it for a while before pulling the trigger, or immediately decide upon it?

Few days. Then it was just like YOLO! I mean this kind of intellectual risk-taking is certainly what Drake intended, I know it.

4. What grade do you expect to get?

I imagine it’s either A for Art, C for Clever, or F for Smartass.

5. Have you ever pulled a stunt like this before?

Haha, nope. Here at Columbia, I never want to do or turn in anything, but this time turning in nothing was entirely valid, so I was like, yaaaaassssss.

6. Was this the result of some sort of aesthetic revelation, or a crammed finals schedule?

It’s a parody of conceptual art, which I totally can’t stand ;)

7. Think your teacher will go for it?

If my piece is met with any challenge from anywhere, I will simply respond in the haughtiest, most pretentious voice: “It’s Art.”

(She’s actually the nicest person ever, so maybe before failing me, she’ll allow a rewrite (or first write I guess #fauxbadass))).

8. Do you like John Cage?

Oh yeah. Such a cutie. Watch his Youtubes.

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82 Comments

  • Every single other student at Columbia says:

    @Every single other student at Columbia If this isn’t given an F, this professor needs fired immediately.

  • cc15 says:

    @cc15 i love this so much and i hope you get an A!! keep us posted!

  • wow says:

    @wow jock yourself harder parida. hope you enjoy your incomplete.

  • CC Alum says:

    @CC Alum “Here at Columbia, I never want to do or turn in anything” Really? I mean, I understand it’s cool to be cavalier. But that’s just sad—should’ve given the spot to someone who’d value it.

  • THIS PERSON RULES says:

    @THIS PERSON RULES CAN WE B FRIENDS PLZ, PARIDA?

  • anon says:

    @anon If I were grading, you’d deserve an A if, when asked to explain it, you could actually engage with the concept and talk about why you dislike that brand of art (or bullshit some sort of engagement, in down with that). But not if your only response were along the lines of “YOLO?” F. If you were to point out that the prof’s frustration and/or amusement were the actual content of your paper? A+

    1. BC '15 says:

      @BC '15 You don’t know what her reasoning is for submitting this. She says YOLO in the Bwog interview because /it’s bwog/ but she probably DOES have some conceptual reason for doing it. Your judging her off an interview in a school blog and that’s really not a great indicator of academic success.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous You’re right. Instead we should guess.

  • 4 papers and 3 finals says:

    @4 papers and 3 finals lawl

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous As a SEAS senior, I have to give this +1. I’ve seen some shit.

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous @parida bro do u even seas?

  • anonymous says:

    @anonymous If you had any chance of receiving a passing grade for this assignment, you blew it with your asinine answers to this Bwog interview. Intention and conviction–not “YOLO”–is what would have made this move intellectually powerful. Obviously, however, you do not understand John Cage and/or risk-taking in the name of academics well enough to pull off a stunt like this.

    1. Good thing says:

      @Good thing that she’s being graded on this Bwog interview

  • Per Mertesacker says:

    @Per Mertesacker >Music Hum >Core “The easiest and most probable to get an A in” class > Instead guaranteed F > Could of just not studied for the final you know you’re going to shit on instead > Could of asked for extensions > Could of planned ahead > Could of not massaged your ego by taking 7 classes and taken a reasonable 5 instead > Still using expressions like “YOLO” and “Ain’t nobody got time for that” >The city of Parida

    1. yolo says:

      @yolo The “>” here were confusing and it’s “could have”

      1. Mesut Ozil says:

        @Mesut Ozil Your tears are delicious

        1. omg where were you says:

          @omg where were you against man city

    2. argument invalidated says:

      @argument invalidated *could have

      1. language changes says:

        @language changes get over it

      2. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous the more you think about it, “could have” is just some weird random sounds anyway. many expressions that you use today were originally wrong. let’s become the masters, not the servants, of our language.

    3. M says:

      @M Four papers + three finals doesn’t necessarily mean she’s taking seven classes.

  • yoloer than u says:

    @yoloer than u True YOLO is no grammarian.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Can someone in her class email this interview to her professor please

    1. youre a says:

      @youre a @Anonymous:
      asssssssssssholeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • Eh, this might get a B says:

    @Eh, this might get a B if she went to Harvard…

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous ^FAVORITE THIS PLZ THNX

  • Wow says:

    @Wow The collective desire of so many commenters to tear someone else down….who cares? It’s a cool story and there is no “right” or “wrong” in assignments/grading of this nature, professor has perfectly good reasons for giving an A or an F and no need to freak out about it.

    1. actually says:

      @actually there’s definitely a right or wrong. in this situation, she is misusing an actually relevant and groundbreaking concept created by john cage in order to get out of doing actual work for a class, and not just any class, but a class that’s part of the core curriculum and therefore a foundation for this school and why anyone wants to go here.

      she is being torn down for her laziness and nonchalance, not for her intellectual curiosity.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous one doesn’t come here for the core, one comes here because it’s an ivy in the best city in the world. cheers.

  • Drew Faust says:

    @Drew Faust probs an A-

  • RR says:

    @RR Because no English word encapsulates so many different facets of suck:

    http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/aljkav

  • this kind of this says:

    @this kind of this is best sent to bwog AFTER you’ve received a final grade for the class

    1. oops says:

      @oops @this kind of this: *this kind of thing

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Exactly, even if the professor was going to let her get away with this/ reward her debatable ingenuity ….by making this known to everyone, she’s essentially forced him/her to act harshly…i.e. grade the paper how she graded all the others…which will probably give you an F seeing that there’s nothing to grade really or force you to rewrite and in that event the professor would probably would have to give some late penalty to be fair.
      The paper is now no longer between her and her professor….so the professor has the pressure of knowing that his/her response to this will be known/checked etc…..Big mistake posting this to bwog IMO.

  • BC '14 says:

    @BC '14 She has apparently never seen the score to 4’33” or she would have known that there needed to be three sections (e.g. movements) to the paper.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous why aren’t we reading about YOUR paper on 4’33??

      CUZ IT WAS PROBABLY BORING

  • future employer says:

    @future employer Loved your resume, then saw this. gtfo.

  • really says:

    @really I really don’t believe she did this. This was probably printed and sent to Bwog as a stunt. I need proof.

    Also, at least have a more clever title.

    1. seconded says:

      @seconded shenanigans. try harder, bwog.

      1. Kid on her floor says:

        @Kid on her floor I was on her floor freshman year and am friends with her on facebook. She posted it to her profile before there was a BWOG article, so it’s real as fuck.

        1. really says:

          @really Posting to Facebook does not speak to authenticity. We have no proof that she handed this in to her teacher. And posting to Facebook can easily just be a supporting element of the hoax.

          1. OPEN YOUR EYES says:

            @OPEN YOUR EYES THIS POST WAS AN INSIDE JOB

        2. its bwog, not BWOG says:

          @its bwog, not BWOG @Kid on her floor: lol

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous oh shit, this commenter was (partially) correct

  • really says:

    @really And the answers to question 2 & 6 are kiiiiinda contradictory.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I respect the hell out of this girl

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous yeah, yeah, i was in mcwhorter’s class, too. there’s a difference, i think, between actual spoken language changes and just misspelling.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous which is?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous cringe

  • NYU Student says:

    @NYU Student This is something an NYU student would do.

  • So... says:

    @So... If someone else submits a blank paper does it now also count as plagiarism?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous /

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Dumb. An academic paper is supposed to be an argument, not an artwork

  • A prof speaks says:

    @A prof speaks a) silly young lady to interview w/ Bwog. You think many of us don’t check in here occasionally (and especially around exam times, when we are also procrastinating?).

    b) given the circumstances, before determining a grade I’d be likely to offer the student a 20 minute spoken (not silent) exam to see exactly what she had learned during her astonishingly brief moment of contemplation. My guess is that this would not go well. But hey, YOLO.

    c) CUMB’s rendition of 4’33” at Cornell was so much more clever.

    1. literally what is wrong with you says:

      @literally what is wrong with you “My guess is that this would not go well.”

      You don’t know this person. Who the fuck are you to make assumptions about her knowledge and intelligence? I sincerely hope you’re not actually a professor because this kind of baseless judgment is ridiculous.

      Sigh. Yes, there are dumbass, negative comments regularly posted on this site. We should all be used to it. But it’s boggling when you see someone you know getting harshly condemned by strangers who take themselves too seriously. So what if she actually handed this in? She would probably definitely fail the assignment. And why the fuck would you have reason to care (unless there were a curve in Music Hum, in which case all you competitive shitheads would rejoice)?

      I for one am glad someone on this campus doesn’t take herself or this IVY LEAGUE institution too seriously this time of year.

      TL;DR fuck all the hoity toity academinazis on this campus

      1. Anon says:

        @Anon THIS.

  • posting 4'33" at 4:33? says:

    @posting 4'33" at 4:33? oh I noticed. very clever, bwog. very clever!

  • Tired old joke says:

    @Tired old joke What chair?

  • So she didn't says:

    @So she didn't have any balls then. What a surprise.

    1. literally what is wrong with you says:

      @literally what is wrong with you Did she hand it in? “Un-intelligent, un-deserving of the ivy league”
      Did she not hand it in? “Liar, lame-ass, pussy”
      Was it her real paper? “Lazy, stupid, ugh why aren’t you taking the Best Class at this university, Music Hum, seriously?”
      Was it just a joke? “Does not compute because I’m stupid and my head is up my own ass”

      Anonymous cyber hate is so charming. Why is everything anyone ever does on this campus always responded to with such excessive negativity?

  • chilllllll says:

    @chilllllll I can’t believe this has gotten this blown out of proportion. Parida’s responses to Bwog questions obviously aren’t the answers she’d give to her professor if he/she asked her about her decision-making. This is Bwog, people. As far as comments saying that she doesn’t belong at Columbia go, that’s just ridiculous cyberbullying that no one should have to put up with. It’s finals season and everyone’s taking schoolwork super-duper serious, as we see from the comments here, but I honestly think we’d all be happier if we took a page (blank or not lolol) from Parida’s book. Again, this is not to say we should all be Yolo’ing in ref room 24/7, but we should be able to joke around about our courseloads and without fear or judgement from classmates.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous serriouusly

      can’t believe people are getting upset about this girl’s paper! She could be pdfing the course and not need the mark! maybe she just doesn’t give a shit! who cares! It’s funny

      1. haha says:

        @haha ya can’t pdf music hum! ho ho ho. CORE!

        also, complete waste of an easy A.

    2. soHappySomeoneFinallyGetsIt says:

      @soHappySomeoneFinallyGetsIt Thank you!!!! someone finally gets it!!!! parida was joking And her jokes are hilarious. i read it and literally laughed outloud involuntarily because it was so funny. i think all u naysayers need to take a second to pull your heads out of your asses, take a breath of sweet fresh air, and consider the fact that you take yourself soooooo seriously that you didnt think twice about the verbal abuse your giving someone you WISH you could be friends with. reconsider your morals and priorities and learn how to take a joke. that is all.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous TROLL

  • soHappySomeoneFinallyGetsIt says:

    @soHappySomeoneFinallyGetsIt “this type of intellectual risk taking is certainly what drake intended” was written after yolo and u guys still dont see its sarcasm and a joke? YOU GUYS ARE CRAZy

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Guess the problem is the joke might be on her if she has to retake Music Hum…….I think we all find it funny to some extent but wonder why she took such a risk….Fs can hurt…….and for something like Music Hum….it would just be annoying.

      Maybe what she should have done was written a real paper…said she only wrote it to comply with academic requirements …but this paper was the real thing…i guess it would have been a clever way to pull of the joke without potentially hurting herself.

    2. SureItWasAJoke says:

      @SureItWasAJoke Hence the reason to include:

      ————-
      (She’s actually the nicest person ever, so maybe before failing me, she’ll allow a rewrite (or first write I guess #fauxbadass))).

      ————-
      You got called out for being a fraud and now you’re pretending to be other people defending you. Good job, good effort.

      1. @Hadas Zeilberger Um that was not her pretending to be other people to defend herself. That was ME defending her.

        Hi. My name is Hadas Zeilberger. I am a senior. My dog died on November 11th, 2011, and nobody knows that except for me ( and my mom).
        There is a link to my facebook. I am defending her because the post was hilarious and you guys are idiots for not seeing its sarcasm or its brilliant humor, AND are just really mean for bashing someone so hard over something so stupid.

        Good day.

        1. Seriously though, says:

          @Seriously though, …sorry about your dog. That sucks.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Sooo…just read the update from Bwog and realized thats exactly what she did and this was all a joke…..We all wasted our study time commenting on this….lol ……..Procrastination….

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Pretty sure you use ‘an’ before a word starting with a vowel. You’re a dumbass.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Sorry, stupid Bwog messed up my post after an illegible captcha.

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous lol ur good at this parody thing

  • NYU Student says:

    @NYU Student What a troll…

  • Bella says:

    @Bella I think this paper is hilarious and brilliant and all of you are just mad you didn’t think of the idea first.

  • Shmacked lord says:

    @Shmacked lord Everybody chill, grab a brew or 2 unless you tryna get sloppy, which the Shmacked lord highly recommends.
    Get shmacked, find a cutie, and do yo thang.
    #sexinthestacks #rageface #santacon #hornysanta
    #turnuportransfer #youknowwhoitis

  • did you know that says:

    @did you know that spacebars exist?

  • としのきょうこ says:

    @としのきょうこ inb4 the paper was actually printed with white text.

  • sprek says:

    @sprek lol, it received an A+

  • cc14 says:

    @cc14 Hahahahaha. Everyone got trolled. Great fun bwog, thanks.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous And artwork isn’t argument?

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