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Freshman Year Checklist: The Mistakes to Make

This is it. This is college done right.

This is it. This is college done right.

As a freshman first-year, there are  certain mistakes you need to make and times to have before those two semesters end. So as this first semester comes to a close, Bwog decided to compile these essentials so that you don’t miss anything big. There are

The distinctly freshman

  • Mistake your first friends at Columbia (NSOP) for your best friends…
  • Find the love of your life.
  • Realize that wasn’t the love of your life and college isn’t like in the movies.
  • Not really realizing that you might need to work for once in your life..
  • Assuming Butler is the only library.
  • Almost forgetting to sign up for a PE class
  • Be THAT freshman at a party (but only once)
  • Have CAVA (or whatever it’s called nowadays) on your speed dial.
  • Walk to Battery Park and back overnight (trust me, it’s dope)
  • Discovering the third floor reading room in Diana
  • Come out as ___________
  • Break up with your high school boy/girl/humanfriend
  • Awkward first office hours

The food-related

  • Get really excited about the dining halls
  • …(one week later) HATE the dining halls
  • Figuring out Joe’s is easily a two minute walk from Milbank or Diana
  • Go to Deluxe’s five dollars burger nights
  • Make friends with the halal guy on 115 near Schapiro
  • Midnight Breakfast (you get in first being a first-year, hollah)
  • Big Sub

The things that will most likely continue well past your first year

  • Actually going downtown one night instead of just staying in MoHo
  • Missing your L-course sign-up time
  • Panicked first email to a professor for an extension
  • Panicked second email to a professor for an extension
  • Be homesick.
  • Think about transferring.
  • Gain weight.
  • Combine drinking and studying by getting drunk in one of the secluded rooms with your friends. Multiple times.
  • Go crazy.
  • Be irresponsible.

#1 Columbia student and well-rounded individual via Shutterstock.

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19 Comments

  • cc senior says:

    @cc senior what’s l-course sign up? guess i’ve been missing it.

  • you're not missing anything says:

    @you're not missing anything L-courses are just one of the many perks of eBear

    1. CC15 says:

      @CC15 so what the shit is eBear?

  • CC 16 says:

    @CC 16 Barnard* Freshmen Year Checklist

  • So obvious says:

    @So obvious a barnard person wrote/compiled this lol

    1. cc'16 says:

      @cc'16 it’s like barnard students go here! so weird! maybe our campus publications might actually acknowledge their existence!

      1. hey man says:

        @hey man he/she didn’t say that that was bad or anything, just that it was amusingly apparent.

      2. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous They don’t go here.

  • D says:

    @D Having cava on your speed dial is pretty dang useful.

  • MoHo? says:

    @MoHo? really?

    really?

    just fucking kill me now

  • Anon says:

    @Anon It’s always rather shocking to acknowledge that quite possibly Barnard students are a part of Columbia news organizations and maybe JUST MAYBE they contribute. But probs not. Too hard to fathom.

    1. JustDoNotPretend says:

      @JustDoNotPretend Just that many people reading it find out halfway through they don’t really get half the references/jokes is all.

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous and for a moment I was worried I wouldn’t get my daily suggested serving of passive aggression

  • Um says:

    @Um making friends with the halal guy on 115th isn’t a mistake?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous “mistakes you need to make and times to have”… Though the title of the post is only half of what it’s about.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous wtf is MoHo?

  • "moho" says:

    @"moho" is the most precious barnardism

  • MoHo is wrong says:

    @MoHo is wrong It’s supposed to be MoHi…Morningside Heights, fools, not Morningside Hots.

  • NYU says:

    @NYU Just transfer.

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