#throw​bacchanal Might Be A Fiasco

Written by

stop smelling your wenis, lupe

we’re just the messengers…

Bacchanal Committee has announced this year’s theme: #throwbacchanal. As Bacchanal puns go, we find this one #throwbacceptable. Much better than Baccaha90’s, that’s for sure.

But who is the main act, we hear you say? Bwog has been keeping our collective ear to the ground and this is what we’ve heard:

Lupe Fiasco

Probability: that the 1 train is running regularly. Very high. We’ve heard this from a lot of sources, and it seems about right for Bacchanal. You’ve heard of him, maybe you even know a few of his songs, but he’s not so famous that you would notice him strolling down College Walk. Also, we had Macklemore last year; maybe the Bacchanal committee is really into socially-conscious rap?

2 Chainz

Probability: that your ID will get rejected at 1020. So, very low. Our little birds have whispered this one to us, but it feels like he’s too famous for Bacchanal. And does he even have any recent music out? Still, it could happen.

Bruno Mars

Probability: that Columbia gives us another snow day this semester… It ain’t gonna happen. These rumors probably came from people who were way too excited from the Super Bowl.

Just a reminder: Bacchanal is a CLOSED EVENT, so leave your little sister drunk uncle talking dog at home

Lupe via Wikimedia

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  1. Can't be 2Chainz  

    The committee were about to have him, but at the last minute he pulled out to headline Vanderbilt's concert:


  2. Probability  

    Probability of Bwog continuing to be a weak ass publication: 100%

    • Anonymous  

      I take it you're a member of the bacchanal committee

    • Anonymous  

      I'm not part of bacchanal but I have friends on it and the reason for the resistance to publishing the headliner is that due to some previous bacchanal calamities involving snoop dogg, almost all artist riders (live performance contract/demands) for bacchanal have the stipulation that if the headliner is publicized before an approved date, the headliner reserves the ability to both pull out of the show and retain the entirety of the fee.
      despite what you might think, throwing a free show for a major artist with relatively minimal security in the biggest city in the US has the potential to be a bit of a disaster, so just be patient with the headliner announcements...

      • Anonymous  

        Makes sense, but in that case the Bacchanal committee shouldn't leak it to their friends like they have done in the past.

      • It's funny  

        That's exactly what Bacchanal said last year after bwog posted that it was Macklemore. They said that it would violate the rider to release the name early. But when someone actually reached out to Macklemore's manager to ask if he'd be performing, the manager said he would be, but that the people who invited him (i.e. Bacchanal) might not want it publicized yet. So it seems like the artist didn't care; it was just Bacchanal that didn't want the name released early.

  3. Anonymous  

    You misspelled "mispelled" in the tag, Bwog... Kinda embarrassing

  4. anon  

    Probability that you still read bwog even though you're a whiny bitch: 100%

  5. your weak


  6. Great Big Sea  

    Pleeeease, it would make me so happy.

  7. Anonymous  

    still hoping for childish gambino one of these years

  8. Anonymous  

    what about bruno mars

  9. 2chainz

    more famous the lupe fiasco? let's be real who the fuck knew 2chainz 2 years ago

  10. 14  

    Snoop Dogg, Curren$y, Macklemore, now Lupe Fiasco -- could we possibly consider not another rapper? For those of us who don't like rap, it would be nice just once before we go...

  11. 1020  

    has actually been using a scanner and rejecting IDs left and right lately, so according to that logic it's still quite likely that 2Chainz might come. Bwog needs to get out more

  12. CC'14  

    Let's get the Underachievers and the Flatbush Zombies. Reasonably priced, local acts.

  13. Anonymous  

    I heard blink182... also fits well with the theme.

  14. also heard rumors about  


    Aka my sophomore year French teacher.

  15. Wavves  

    you're never gonna stop me king of the beach

  16. Anonymous  

    what happened to the rumors about Diplo? that would've been so much better than any of this.

  17. Yawn  

    It's not like Lupe has any recent music out either

  18. Snorelax  

    It's not like Lupe has any new and/or significant music out either

  19. Lupe Fiasco

    ...isn't the name of a musician, its what happens when you hire too many maids

  20. look  

    tbh just want something that i can dance to

  21. cc'15

    we gonna hop on the yale train again? i would lol if we got diplo (though it'd be pretty sweet)

  22. Anonymous  

    Lupe Fiasco and Chainsmokers.

    I'm down like a pedo-clown in kiddy town.

  23. we shud  

    get Beyonce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. Can we just...  

    ...get Skrillex and call it a day? That's what we all are gonna wish was playing about an hour in anyway.

  25. Lupe Fiasco....  

    Isn't even touring right now? Pollstar and his site confirm.

  26. Let's be real...  

    As long as the Red Bull truck will be there, I'm down with whoever headlines...

  27. The Jolly Flying Man  

    MF DOOM would be amazing but it appears he's touring in Europe all year

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