Our next Senior Wisdom is from Liana Gergely, who drops some serious knowledge on finding yourself, FOMO, and Cole Sprouse.

Liana Gergely

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Liana Gergely, Los Angeles, Barnard, English and Dance

Claim to fame: Choreographer of the MaMa Project 2014 for Orchesis Dance Group, Co-Editor in Chief of Her Campus Barnard, Writer of a spirituality/happiness column called Eye Zen for The Columbia Spectator

Where are you going? Traveling to Cambodia and Thailand and then moving to Boston to start a job in marketing at Her Campus Media (where every Friday, the whole office wears workout clothes to work and gets a private Cardio Barre class from 12-1. #blessed)

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2018?

1. It takes a lifetime to learn how to live. You will procrastinate on that paper despite the fact that you’ve told yourself a million times that you wouldn’t do this whole Butler-till-4-am thing again. You will go back to that guy who seems like a great choice in your Mels/Heights/1020-induced haze but no longer seems so charming when you get up in the morning and realize that he’s never going to text you again. You will gossip and get found out. You will eat that slice of Koronets… the whole thing. By yourself. You will get swamped with schoolwork and the drama of your own life that you’ll forget to call a friend on her birthday or go to her senior theater concert. You will make mistakes and poor decisions. SO WHAT? Let yourself off the hook and realize that it’s about progress not perfection. With time you’ll learn to put your wellbeing above everything else. There’s nothing you’ve ever done or that’s happened to you that hasn’t contributed to your understanding of yourself today. The best that can happen in any situation is that you learn, the worst that can happen in any situation is that you learn. And isn’t that what we’re here for?

2. It’s okay if study-abroad wasn’t “the most amazing thing ever. The most fun semester of your life”. I studied abroad at a Buddhist Monastery in India with 36 other college kids trying to learn to sit still, cultivate a little peace, and see life outside of libraries and beer pong. It was the hardest, most challenging, and most unpleasant 3 months of my life. And I wouldn’t change it for anything. When I got back, people would inquire about it by asking me “How was India? Was it incredible? Did you love it??” That leaves little room for an honest response, which for me would have sounded like: “Actually, it was really tough. I never realized how much rice its possible to ingest in a 24-hour period nor how difficult it is to sit with my own thoughts in a silent meditation retreat. I struggled with a lot of anxiety, and know less about who I am now than I did before”. Why is there this double standard that any regular semester at Columbia is allowed to be “rough, tiring, kind of mehhh” but one’s study abroad semester is supposed to be “So much fun, the best thing ever!”. Going across the world and realizing that despite all the people around you, the cities you pass by, the food you eat, you still go to bed with yourself every night and wake up with yourself every morning is terrifying. It’s also the best thing you’ll ever learn—and that relationship with yourself will be life changing.

Appreciate the little things. Wake up before 9 am and take a walk. Grab a Starbucks and walk by the river, or ride the swings in the park. You’re bound to see a lot of cute puppies and kids, and realize that we live in a seriously beautiful place. Then when you have to go get serious on a paper or with some reading, you’ll have a better sense of perspective.

“Back in my day…” Frat Row was an actual Row. Mel’s had a DJ and dancing every Thursday night. You had to have cash with you because there was no Venmo. Bacchanal was on the lawn. The 84th street movie theater did not have reclining chairs. And the Heights had Anna.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Almost went on a date with Cole Sprouse from Suite Life of Zack and Cody. We AIM’ed for like 2 weeks until he told me I was too infatuated with the fact that he was a Disney Star.

Write your most memorable note from the field: Sitting on the Mudd roof on a June afternoon and watching the world go by. Realizing that it’s the company you keep that makes something as ordinary as sitting on a rooftop something spectacular.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? My mom is from Paris, and part of my preliminary education was learning the French pronunciation of some of the smelliest (yet most expensive?) cheeses, so I fear if I gave up cheese, I’d get disowned, or just seriously have to resist temptation at some of her dinner parties.

One thing to do before graduating: Dance in an Orchesis show. Everyone gets cast, and it has been one of the highlights of my experience here. There’s nothing like music, a stage, lights, friends, and staying up at night trying to figure out how many words can sensibly be combined with –orchesis for an alluring show title. Also, free bagels.

And speaking of food–order the spicy tuna sandwich from Vine.

Any regrets?

1. Wasting any time having FOMO for not going out when I was clearly so happy watching Sex and the City reruns in bed- I’ve only regretted the times I didn’t want to go out and forced myself anyways, never the times I’ve stayed in with snacks and a down comforter and woken up feeling full of glee.

2. Thinking there was such a thing as a picture perfect college social experience. I’ve found myself chasing this ideal, instead of just enjoying what’s right in front of me. It may just be a couple friends around a kitchen table with takeout and not a frat formal or a killer spring break in Cancun, but spending time with people who love you and want to be in your company is way more rewarding then fulfilling an ideal.

3. Thinking I’m not good enough exactly how I am.