NSOP is basically over except for the optional neighborhood tours (we’d recommend the dessert tour of NYC), but the fun will never stop. In case you’ve been living under a rock, or in Furnald—and check out this Furnald Tumblr, by the way—here’s what’s been going on. Send info or your desire to write about your experiences to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Do freshmen do anything but drink?
- Pike is a fucking rager right now. And they have a consent educator as bartender. #doingitright
- While pre-gaming for Intrepid, someone was CAVA’d at 7 pm. A moment of silence for our lightweight fallen brother.
- Meanwhile, two other new students were CAVA’d while on board, but one was not alcohol-related.
Word on the street:
- “I feel like I have so many friends, but I don’t care about a lot of them.”
- First year male after 3 hour Sexual Violence seminar: “So, how does a guy protect himself from false accusations of rape?” Needless to say, the Barnard junior teaching looked as though she was going to attack the kid.
- “Freshmen pronouncing Koronets with french pronunciation (koronay). Can Chez Koronets be the new 1,020?”
- Overheard by freshman on the steps: “Omg that’s my favorite war, too! There were so many twists and turns. Like it was calm and then the French came in…like, woah!”
- About 500 extra people at each meal are taking food designated for new students and affiliated staff, and Columbia Dining is not happy about it.
- “Under1Roof has been the best part of NSOP by far. So done with being shuttled between ‘fun’ get-to-know-you activities. At least we talked about some things of substance.”
Just Carman 8 things, which we don’t really understand:
“1: “I am a virgin!” (Imagine this being said in much the same way as Evelyn shouting “I am a…librarian!” in The Mummy). 2: “That’s a lie!”
Girl-on-girl slap fight ensues, but eventually turns into makeout session as surrounding frosh guys question the likelihood of receiving a blowjob tonight.
Repeatedly couples take their selective turns visiting the room across the hall—they return sweaty, misshapen, and generally NSLOP-Y. Girls that just met their prospective partners react with bitter jealously at their supposed betrayals—speaking to any other female. One couple runs, together, out the door, on their way to the lounge for an engaging conversation (don’t forget the ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT!).
Party host introduces himself to me three times in quick succession. Thoughts of inviting the RA to join in the festivities are brought up, but quickly shut down by those retaining some sobriety,
The rooms of Carman 8 allow students a metamorphosis much like a caterpillar to a butterfly—enter as young, wiggly larva, upon becoming inebriated rest in a cocoon-like state, and leave older, wobbly, and slightly sticky.”