Effects Of Razor Scootering Down All 10 Ramps Of Lerner On A Tuesday
By Maia Berlow and Christina Clark
Bwog heard a rumor that Lerner Hall was ranked one of the best buildings for scootering in the country. We couldn’t unearth any US News and World Report rankings, Buzzfeed posts, or College Prowler comments to back up our claims. But no matter! This is a research university! We decided to test it out ourselves.
If Bwog razor scooters down the ramps of Lerner, then Bwog will know it is the best building to scooter in in the world.
- Deviant students
- Razor Scooters (or anything with wheels, really)
We picked up some scooters and casually carried them into Lerner. We scoped out the racetrack as we headed to the top, noting areas that might trip us up and people who might yell at us (potentially the person that sits at the mail kiosk station?). And off we went.
Trial 1: We started off slowly from the 4th floor, because we were worried about attracting too much attention and getting stopped before we made it to the bottom. It took about 30 seconds to realize that literally no one cared. A couple girls even cheered us on. We picked up speed, made like a Tom, and cruised.
Trial 2: No experiment is legitimate without multiple trials, so for the sake of the scientific method we decided we had to do a second run. This time we went all the way to the top. As we flew down the levels we heard a few shouts, but they were mostly drowned out by the sound of wind rushing through our ears. As we rounded the last corner we saw a short man in a Columbia suit, power walking towards us. We quickly made our escape through the Broadway exit uncaught and unscathed.
Black Ramps: Smooth sailing. Enjoy the feeling of your hair flowing majestically behind you.
Blueish/Greenish Diamond Ramps: Silver ridges make for a bumpy ride, but the turbulence should not be enough to throw off a skilled rider. The wheels also make loud noises as they hit the ridges so be aware of this if you’re trying to stay incognito. (Note: the hair flow is not quite as majestic as on the black ramps).
Potential Hazards: Professionally clad adults conferencing on floor 5, a package center line close to riot on floor 4, hangry students entering Ferris on floor 2, the front security desk on floor 1, the rugs on short parts of the track.
Reactions from the crowd: some cheering, a thumbs up, some staring, but mostly no one cared.
Fun Score: Guaranteed to liven up anyone’s Tuesday! A+