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RoomHop: We Thought This Was A Sample Dorm

Does the SEAS hat count as decoration?

Does the SEAS hat count as decoration?

Libby Kandel and Christina Clark, aka Bwog’s kangaroos of room-hopping, went to get the story behind the intriguingly bare room of a John Jay resident.

“Did you just get robbed?” would be an appropriate question when you walk into the room of Resident X* on John Jay 13. He’ll shrug his shoulders and say, “I don’t need a lot of stuff…I like my room plain. My future house will look like this; I would not compromise. Even for a woman.”

The barren walls might seem cold and uninviting, but the three combs, hairbrush, and array of hair products should assure you that Resident X occasionally appears in the presence of others. When he does he will be sure to rock one of his Ikea satchels and estimated 15 pairs of grey pants.

One might think Resident X is anti-consumer culture, but really, he just doesn’t like things. One thing he takes particular offense to is the modern blender. “So many things in this world have experienced technological advancement, but the blender is not one them. Like even the most high tech ones at Jamba Juice have to be cleaned with a spoon.” Statements like these and his room may explain why one of his floormates immediately assumed he was a SEAS kid. Another just assumed he was a serial killer.

This may also be because he has no pictures of his family anywhere, but rather a startling amount of cleaning products. His explanation: “You don’t have pictures of your family until you’re like 40…..right?”

Bwog closed the meeting by asking, “If your life depended on decorating your room, what would you put on your walls?” After a moment of reflection: “Blank wallpaper.”

*he requested that his name not be included.

 

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14 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous After graduation this guy is going to be ridiculously successful or squatting in butler. Either war, great article

  • isthisnotnormal? says:

    @isthisnotnormal? My room looks just like this. I don’t want to waste money on decorations.

    1. isthisnotnormal? says:

      @isthisnotnormal? also, I want to marry someone like this.

    2. Agreed says:

      @Agreed You don’t need room decorations to be happy. For those of us who don’t live within driving distance of NYC, it costs a good amount of money to store stuff over the summer, and things as temporal as room decorations just aren’t that important when you consider the amount of space you’ll need to store it later.

  • Dear Bwog says:

    @Dear Bwog Literally no one cares. Report actual news.

    1. Anon says:

      @Anon That is not the point, *the heart* of bwog

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous I CARE

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous why did bwog take down the rakhi agarwal story?

    1. Insider says:

      @Insider Because it’s complicated and they were asked to take it down

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous Oh so complications and being “asked to take it down” were enough THIS time? How come the editorial board didn’t extend the same courtesy to the Palestinian rights protester who feared for his/her life. I’m glad bwog atleast did the right thing this time.

        1. student says:

          @student the girl has been found, that’s why they took it down

          also, you’re an idiot. if a person feared for their life after protesting, then they shouldn’t have been fucking protesting.

          1. Anonymous says:

            @Anonymous Yeah fuck free speech and the right to protest!

          2. Anonymous says:

            @Anonymous As a quasi-journalistic enterprise, you think their move would then be to update the post saying “she’s been found. the family has asked we not release any further details at this time.” or some such.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I’m jealous of this.

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