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These might be a sound investment
As October 31 looms closer, Bwog thought we’d bring Halloween a little closer to home. From your tips, we’ve compiled the actions of true roommates from hell. Among the most heinous of roommate sins are clogging the suite shower, vomiting on your roommate’s mattress, and waking you up in the morning for no reason other than needing mouthwash (hey, at least he/she’s taking care of their hygiene). If you’ve ever felt like you wanted to kill your roommate, or at least move out, check this list before you make a bad judgment call.
Crimes of Hygiene:
Wakes you up at 4 am for mouthwash
Never does laundry
Pees in the corner when drunk (pee stains from your dog roommate = bad news)
Leaves semen in the shower
Leaves a foot of water in a clogged shower (a bathroom discovery less glamorous than that physics bathtub lesson)
Doesn’t take the trash out, and even when doing so, puts it in a conveniently small bag so that it spills all over the floor
Gets trashed during NSOP and pees on your mattress and vomits everywhere
Sex-related Crimes:
Has sex with significant other on the top bunk while roomie is sleeping on the bottom bunk
Sexiles you but doesn’t actually have sex—only lets other person sleep on your bed while you crash on a friend’s couch
Gets pregnant and makes you deal with it
Physical Room-related Crimes:
Smokes with friends in room after you asked him/her not to
Doesn’t clean up after him/herself
Leaves a mess on your side of the room
Never actually leaves the room
Hides your things so that you can’t find them
Turns the AC all the way up
Locks you out of room
Friend’s roomie counts how many times you come over so that you can’t visit again
Bans strangers (a.k.a. your friends) from the room
Food-related Crimes
Leaves food out when it needs to be refrigerated
Cracks eggs into the burner instead of a pan so that the fire alarm keeps going off
Steals your food and proceeds to eat in front of you
Puts dishes away in places where you can’t find them
Roommate-on-Roommate Crimes
He/she beats you up
Lifts weights obnoxiously in the middle of the night
Confronts you when you go out without him/her one weekend and then proceeds to invite him/herself to anything you’re doing with your other friends
Wakes up ridiculously early and slams shit
Actual Crimes
Roommate left to bail incarcerated boyfriend out and never came back
The (slightly) raised eyebrow is key for intimidation via Shutterstock
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7 Comments
@CC14 “Confronts you when you go out without him/her one weekend and then proceeds to invite him/herself to anything you’re doing with your other friends”
preach
@i love my roommate but she didn’t flush her used toilet paper, just threw it in the trash. is that gross oris that just me
@Mac In some places in the world/USA, that’s common practice such as in rural areas that don’t have the same type of sanitation.
@thesurvivor ^^ the pregnant roommate thing actually happened to me and LET ME TELL YOU IT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE
@the curious do tell… sounds interesting
@"Gets pregnant and makes you deal with it" Really, bwog?
@Anonymous One of my UAH roommates took a Cross pen that I bought as a memento from my community college years. It has the college’s seal in bronze on the clip. I’m still a bit upset about it.