Get your fighting face ready

These might be a sound investment

As October 31 looms closer, Bwog thought we’d bring Halloween a little closer to home. From your tips, we’ve compiled the actions of true roommates from hell. Among the most heinous of roommate sins are clogging the suite shower, vomiting on your roommate’s mattress, and waking you up in the morning for no reason other than needing mouthwash (hey, at least he/she’s taking care of their hygiene). If you’ve ever felt like you wanted to kill your roommate, or at least move out, check this list before you make a bad judgment call.

Crimes of Hygiene: 

Wakes you up at 4 am for mouthwash

Never does laundry

Pees in the corner when drunk (pee stains from your dog roommate =  bad news)

Leaves semen in the shower

Leaves a foot of water in a clogged shower (a bathroom discovery less glamorous than that physics bathtub lesson)

Doesn’t take the trash out, and even when doing so, puts it in a conveniently small bag so that it spills all over the floor

Gets trashed during NSOP and pees on your mattress and vomits everywhere

Sex-related Crimes: 

Has sex with significant other on the top bunk while roomie is sleeping on the bottom bunk

Sexiles you but doesn’t actually have sex—only lets other person sleep on your bed while you crash on a friend’s couch

Gets pregnant and makes you deal with it

Physical Room-related Crimes: 

Smokes with friends in room after you asked him/her not to

Doesn’t clean up after him/herself

Leaves a mess on your side of the room

Never actually leaves the room

Hides your things so that you can’t find them

Turns the AC all the way up

Locks you out of room

Friend’s roomie counts how many times you come over so that you can’t visit again

Bans strangers (a.k.a. your friends) from the room

Food-related Crimes 

Leaves food out when it needs to be refrigerated

Cracks eggs into the burner instead of a pan so that the fire alarm keeps going off

Steals your food and proceeds to eat in front of you

Puts dishes away in places where you can’t find them

Roommate-on-Roommate Crimes 

He/she beats you up

Lifts weights obnoxiously in the middle of the night

Confronts you when you go out without him/her one weekend and then proceeds to invite him/herself to anything you’re doing with your other friends

Wakes up ridiculously early and slams shit

Actual Crimes 

Roommate left to bail incarcerated boyfriend out and never came back

The (slightly) raised eyebrow is key for intimidation via Shutterstock