21 Comments
A terrible angle for a terrible loss.
The rumors are true: UNI Café is shut down. When attempting to get our daily udon soup and large sugar cookie, Bwog was confronted with dark windows, an eviction notice, and hopeless despair. To remember our most honored Columbia hangout, UNI enthusiast Josh Dillon composed this heartbreaking eulogy.
Note: this is best read with tissues and boxed wine (preferably white as it induces hangovers and general unhappiness).
“I still find it difficult to believe that you are really gone. It felt like it was only yesterday that you were branded UNI Café after the previous café, Pinnacle, was shut down. Life isn’t going to be easy without you, but thanks to all of your coffee and late-night pizza, I know that I at least got one A in college.”
“As most of you already know, my friend UNI was a hard worker. Whenever I would roll out of bed five minutes before class, UNI already had my bagel order ready, probably because I was the only person who ate there—this is something I cannot thank it enough for.”
“Although it is gone, I’m sure that UNI will never be forgotten. UNI was a loyal friend and colleague who only wanted to be quirky and interesting.”
“One of the most precious memories that I’ll remember forever of UNI Café is that time that it was shut down. Your “B” health rating and rat infestation were the only reasons why you weren’t always crowded with students. I love you for that.”
“Cafés like my UNI Café don’t come around often. As I said before, it’s difficult to believe that you’re gone. Not a day is going to go by that I won’t think of you. So until the next café springs up in your spot, I love you.”
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21 Comments
@Liked the subs Trouble paying the expensive rent probably.
@I liked it I liked the coffee. Everybody was friendly. I will miss it.
@Uche NOOOOOOOO GODDAMNIT
Uni Cafe had THE CHEAPEST breakfast in MoHi. $3.54 (tax included) for a bagel sandwich, $4.36 (tax included) for home fries, bacon, toast, and eggs. Just God damn it all to hell.
@Anonymous Please, please open a taco bell there.
@Sad Alum I REMEMBER PINNACLE
@Actual Sad Alum ID THEFT NOT COOL
@Bwog do some reporting if they were seized by the MARSHAL’S OFFICE, shady shit is probably going on.
much different than their beef being stores 1 degree too warm and getting shut down by city health dept.
@Idiot do some reading I’m sorry — where does this imply that they were shut down by the health department?
@you do some reading my comment’s the opposite. they’ve been shut down by health before… this is different
@lol the article doesn’t say why UNI was shut down one way or another.
do u actually go to columbia?
lolz
@Hi! Quick Googling says that the City’s Marshals are not part of the NYPD/NYSP system, but (among other things) are used to enforce evictions by a property’s landlord. No specifics on UNI, of course (it’s recent and probably a we-can’t-comment ongoing court-case), but it sounds much more like the end of a tenant/landlord dispute than something exotic.
The information flows. ;)
@Anonymous Udon soup? You sure you’re not mixing it up with M2M?
@nope uni café does have udon, although it’s pretty bad…
@Anonymous We should get Num Pang to replace it. We need some south East Asian sandwiches up in here.
@Anonymous Everyone knows red wine is worse for hangovers
@Aw crap. Lots of places to get hammered around here. No place makes good, cheap bulgogi to go, now.
@Anonymous What is going in there?
@Anonymous Columbia, we wanted you to get rid of the UNI, not of UNI Café!
@Anonymous Maybe we’ll get a good bar? Hopefully… Fingers crossed (that upstairs would be sweet).
@thank god finally chance for something better to come in
@yes mowill coffee IS a thing, i basically live on it at this point.