Since Friday, we’ve been flooded with suggestions about what to name the newest addition to our Columbia family. After all, in a world filled with MoHi and Prezbo, a name like Bernheim & Schwartz doesn’t exactly roll of the tongue. We extend claps, emoji stars, and bittersweet participation trophies to everyone who submitted names to us — the competition was steep and the choice was mildly difficult.
But alas, we have come to a decision.
Bernheim & Schwartz is now to be referred to as BoSchwo. Close contenders were Bernie’s, B & S, BS, and Bernz. Our lucky winner, Alex Chang, explains the choice best: “You can call frequenters the BoSchwoisie, and people get BoSchwasted on Senior Night.” How right you are, Alex.
And, to our dear Alex Chang, we extend a resounding congratulations! A million crab emojis! While we were slightly stingy with our prize, BoSchwo itself reached out to Bwog and offered to expand the prize to a six-pack of branded beer, a pizza, AND a liter of their own craft beer! Wowie! With prizes like those, you could throw a pretty quiet party! Oh Alex, you lucky human, you.
If you’re not totally sold on the nickname
expect a visit from the Bwog Secret Police, here are some easy ways to integrate BoSchwo into everyday phrases:
- “She was going so hard last week; what a freakin’ BoSchwarrior.”
- “He’s gained so much BoSchweight recently that it’s like his beer belly has a beer belly.”
- “Gather round, sailors, for I have a BoShwhale of a tale!”
- “I love BoSchwo so much, I’m going to name my daughter BoSchwanda!”
Celebratory *clink* via Shutterstock