Look how happy we are to tell you this! Not so happy, really. Our smile seems forced.

In this lull between the last of your midterms and those few weeks when you will keep telling yourself to start studying for finals, Bwog would like to remind you that class registration starts next week for CC, SEAS, GS, and Barnard, beginning Monday for rising seniors. As a Columbia student, you have either known this for weeks, have already prepared a class schedule, plus backups, or you have forgotten it completely amidst your all consuming course-load, extracurriculars, and scrambling for a social life. Either way, you have this weekend to reevaluate your class (and life choices). We at Bwog are here for you in this time of choice, and offer you the following advice we find ourselves turning to every semester (regardless of whether we intend to or not):

• Remember as you start this process what’s really important for next semester: bragging about how miserable your semester is going to be. Rising first-years may alternatively consider: how aesthetically appealing the schedule will look when you post it on Facebook.
• Be sure to branch out into different academic disciplines for a well rounded education. Organic chemistry, econometrics, and modern algebra are good choices, popular with chemistry, economics, and mathematics majors respectively.
• When picking into a class with a discussion component, make sure the course content reflects your own social and political leanings. This way, amidst the wealth of perspectives Columbia has to offer, you can be confident that your view is the best.
• Avoid graduate student professors, who will offer you fresh lectures prepared with care, personal attention, and respect. Pick your professors based on accomplishment within their field, celebrity, and how much fun it will be to complain about them to your friends later.
• You’ve done it. A balanced schedule. You’ve met your major requirements, taken an interesting extra class or two besides, and left plenty of time for your extracurriculars, friends, and, most miraculously of all, sleep. What the fuck are you thinking. This is Columbia University in the City of New York. Do you know how much money your parents are paying for this school, how many people have devoted their lives for the opportunities you have, only to find themselves wanting, how little time you have left??? Take a class with a celebrity professor! Consider a concentration: if you have time to sleep you have time to study the evolution of language and its relationship to the imperialist paradigm! How can you even think you’re competitive without knowing at least two Chinese dialects? There you go: twenty credits. Much better.
• Take comfort in that no matter how much time you invest in this process, the class you are most excited about will have a waitlist, a special application, or an error in ssol admittance, giving you the time to enjoy this process for weeks, possibly months to come!

Sign up lady inexplicably provided by Shutterstock