This Honorary Bwogger understands our summertime sadness.

Bwog is hanging onto July as long as possible (because August is just too close to September), so we’re using our monthly round-up as a way to prolong the summer. Maybe that logic is lacking, but it’s hot and we’re trying not to think about the fall. Let’s all just take a page out of Demi’s book and stay cool for the summer.

Meanwhile, our campus might look dead, but things are still happening. We present to you July’s news in conveniently packaged bullets.

• Columbia will be required to change some of its sexual assault policies as a result of Governor Cuomo signing “Enough is Enough” legislation into law. (CBS)
• Barnard Contingent Faculty-UAW reached an agreement with the college that will allow non-tenure-track faculty to unionize. (UAW)
• Ferris is getting a new staircase this summer–but for some reason the old one is staying, too. (Columbia Dining)
• Turns out the MTA cleaned the tracks of the 116th Street Station only once in the past 12 months (the goal is once every three weeks). (WNYC)
• Bwog has a Wikipedia page now.

Of course we also have field notes, because what’s a round-up without checking in on our beloved bwoggers?

• Went to Italy for two weeks. Got drunk around high schoolers.
• Got approached in the park by a police officer the night of the Fourth of July. He chose not to see our beer under the table.
• Went to the local make-out spot. Saw a drug deal. Left.
• Finished Infinite Jest.
• I’m getting evicted (but it’s not my fault so CU housing is covering me with temporary housing for the month of August lol).
• Pierced my ears for the first time in my life (I am 20 and female).
• Read Every Love Story is a Ghost Story for the second time already this summer.
• I am sleeping, on average, 4-6 hours per night.
• I have not missed one episode of Food Network Star all summer.
• Trolled the streets of a European city for condoms at 7 pm on a Saturday. Was unsuccessful.
• Went up to Columbia to pick up sports posters from Dodge as dorm decorations.
• Finally heard from the housing waitlist: come party in my Wien single!
• Just bought this.
• Lovin the new Carly Rae Jepsen album lol.
• Finally learned how to put on eyeliner.
• Still haven’t unpacked my clothes from school.