Humans are humans are humans

Humans are humans are humans

If you stood outside yesterday and entered into that mass of humanity before the Low Steps, you understand the distinction between what came before, and what came after the Blood Moon. On one hand is the trivial, and on the other is the sum of all meaning, the weightlessness of understanding. Among your fellow Columbians, you felt moved: in the teeming crowd, each jostle and illicit substance detected helped you transcend this wretched and earthly plane. Even if your future weekends don’t measure up, you can still let us know about them by emailing us at

Before: It Seemed Important Then

  • “Just had to pee in the dark because our bathroom light went out and we have no outlets in the bathroom.”
  • “Left to smoke a cig for FIVE minutes & a friend texted my whole family & roommate.”
  • “Told my boyfriend on FaceTime that I felt like I’d gotten a lobotomy from a hippie.”
  • “Forgot it was the weekend until I saw that John Jay was closed.”
  • “Think I drunk quoted Reagan at someone and I’m sorry.”
  • “Changed my tinder bio to an Infinite Jest reference.”
  • “Used my unread copy of Infinite Jest to prop open my faulty dorm-room window.”
  • “Got wasted at my cousin’s wedding and passed out in my grandmother’s bed at like 11.”
  • “My suitemate ran into a dude who claimed to be ‘a founding father of ZBT’ who came back for a party in Claremont to celebrate their return.”
  • “Columbia lowered the amount of free alcohol at football games. Retaliated by drinking my own.”
  • “Got in a fight about gender roles at the club.”
  • “Drank champagne to celebrate the Mets playoff clinch.”

  • “Went to a friend’s friend’s indie-folk gig downtown and died a little inside.”
  • “Was harassed at work by a guy who claimed to represent an Iraqi princess.”
  • “One of the night maintenance guys at my dorm ranted at me and my friends about the incompetence of the other workers as we frantically nodded our heads.”
  • “Ate my weight in birthday celebrations spanning from Thursday-Sunday. Walked from Plimpton to Trader Joe’s in an attempt to cancel it out in some way. Went to a pop-up boba shop from SF that was housed in a super indie space called ‘Lower Manhattan Headquarters.'”
  • “Finished a pint of Ben & Jerry’s half baked AND a box of Entenmann’s mini chocolate frosted donuts while watching Orange Is The New Black with my best friend. We were disgustingly sober and proudly vegging.”
  • “Drank horchata and snapchatted it in hopes of my Mexican ex-boyfriend seeing it and texting me but he didn’t text me.”
  • “Went to 1020 at 10:30 and left before 11:30…it was chill.”
  • “Saw the Pope and proceeded to take a really good pic of him, which 5 nosy Nellies saw on my phone and asked me to text to them.”

After: A Shift

  • “Got kicked off of the Mudd roof right before eclipse started. :'( At least public safety seemed genuinely sad for us.”
  • “I didn’t see the moon but I saw a dude drink out of one of the Low fountains as his buddies cheered him on. Also people got onto the Butler roof to watch.”
  • “Left my laptop, textbooks, and backpack unattended in Butler cafe for an hour and a half in eager anticipation of superbloodmoon, only to be able to see superbloodmoon for about 90 seconds. Still totally worth it.”
  • “Howled like a werewolf.”
  • “Saw the blood moon via NASA live stream.”