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It’s Always Midterms Somewhere: A Set Of Haikus

Hang in there, bud.

Hang in there, bud.

As midterms become a terrible reality for most at this point in the semester, we had staffers Betsy Ladyzhets and Phoebe Newton put together some haikus to help you get through the stress of studying and your woes in Butler.

Boy sits in Butler.
He can’t remember when he
Was not in Butler.

Professor stops speaking.
Silence – then one hand shoots up:
“This on the midterm?”

“When did you last sleep?”
“I think it was Tuesday. You?”
“I don’t even know.”

You drown in flashcards.
Rivers, lakes, seas of flashcards.
Not enough flashcards.

All we want is to
Sleep. To rest. To stop. To end.
To cease existing.

You’ve done this problem
Ten times already. Numbers
laugh mercilessly.

I lost my contacts –
I can’t see straight anymore –
Is this a nightmare?

I can’t find my notes.
I will sell my firstborn child
If I can see yours.

Your best sweats are dirty,
You don’t have time to shower,
Your life is ruined.

“Take Econ,” they said.
“You will love it!” they proclaimed.
They did not warn you.

How did I get here?
What is my purpose in life?
Why can’t I do this?

You have a midterm
Tomorrow. Or did you take
It yesterday? Fuck.

Sleep is for the weak.
As is oxygen, glucose,
And leaving Butler.

Relatable dude via Shutterstock

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