The essence of modern (ex-)love, brought to life by the relentless winds of passion outside

The essence of modern (ex-)love, brought to life by the relentless winds of passion outside

So, Hurricane Joaquin happened. The wind howled, the rain drops fell mercilessly against your window, and you binge-watched the entire first season of How to Get Away with Murder in one and a half days/had a fight with your boyfriend. It’s okay, because other people got up to stuff for you! Enjoy, and email any and all future tips about your week(end) to

Can’t Be Stopped By A Hurricane

  • “This is crazy but I just saw a CAR like a sedan pull through Riverside Park near the fountain at the entrance and DRIVE DOWN THE PATH INTO THE PARK!”
  • “Lost my wallet last night when super drunk coming from JJ’s Place. They found it at Butler. I don’t remember going by Butler.”
  • “Got hold of the aux chord at a Vassar party and played The Weeknd. Tried poppers for the first time. Got hypothermia from walking in the rain.”
  • “Went on two runs today. My blood is aliveeeeee.”
  • “Won a wheelbarrow race against drunk actors.”
  • “Had to buy back my roommate’s ID from the bouncer at Cannon’s because my friend got it taken away.”
  • “Having the time of my LIFE at the Ren Faire.”
  • “At Insomnia my friend got 2 cookies for the price of 1.”
  • “I got 3 donuts and a pumpkin spice latte all vegan all for FREE cause they’d just gotten a new card scanner and it didn’t work.”
  • “Asked my suitemate why there’s a bass from Morton Williams in the fridge and he replied : ‘I do all my grocery shopping there.'”
  • “Walking to my sister’s to babysit her kid and a group of Model UN highschoolers were walking behind me. Douche was using phrases like ‘and then she said “point of inquiry”‘ to clearly impress/hook up girl he was talking to. Also they were just so annoying I have no idea what they were doing at 106 and Broadway.”
  • Related: “I saw one guy in a 3-piece suit and I thought he should be somewhere far more exciting if he’s going to look that fancy.”


  • “Currently have no heat? There is nowhere to plug in my stupid shitty experimental radiator thing?”
  • “Walked to Morton Williams in my pajamas.”
  • “Carefully crafted a text to get my suitemate to stop smoking weed in the suite and she denied it was her…when it was obviously her.”
  • “My friend was mistaken for me at work and endured some abuse from a wronged EC resident.”
  • “Attempted to schedule a doctors appointment online for today at John Jay medical center. Got the time slot and emailed my professor saying I couldn’t come since class conflicts. Went to accept my time slot and it was already taken.”
  • “I have a #crush on the Hewitt employee who plays nastay uncensored hip hop out of a speaker strapped to his belt leaving a trail of ‘fuck’s and n-words in his wake.”
  • “Also my boyfriend didn’t text me all weekend. Thanks, boyfriend.”
  • “Suffering through P-chem lab. No one should have to take this class srsly.”
  • “Witnessed an old man literally trip and crack his head open in front of Insomnia Cookies, 2:30 am, Saturday. Wanted to help but wanted to finish my cookie while it was warm………………….”